I'm a non-religious guy (atheist), I live with my girlfriend and we share a kid of 8 years old. I've told my girlfriend from more or less the start of our relationship that I wasn't interested in getting married, ever!!
Although she was gutted, because it was something she dreamed of since she was little, I said that I would happily spend the rest of my life with her, I just don't want to get into marriage.
Marriage to me, being a un-necessary man made concept/invention of religion or law to tie couples together, that I couldn't be bothered with the whole shenanigans. From my perspective, though many are genuine, other people seem do it to keep up with the face of society. Girls wear it as badge, a dream since they were no age who want to get hitched to their prince charming, being brought up on fairy tale noncense, and guys do it because... err, I dunno why cos none of my m8's ambitions in life was to grow up to get married, maybe males just wanna own a woman and nail her down and sex can be on supply and demand, people have their own reasons.
I understand marriage is meant to be a way of proving your commitment to someone you love, but... taking out a bank loan isn't a way of proving you're going to pay the money back. The only way you can prove you'll pay the money back is by actually doing it untill you're out of debt. In this fashion the only way you can prove you will spend the rest of your life will someone is by actually doing it, with either one of you making it to your death bed, and hence finalising the deal. So how does marriage prove commitment? it doesn't prove anything.
At the end of the day what is marriage? a piece of paper? an invisible crutch that a relationship needs support from? a load of bull?
People get themselves into debt (sometimes to the extreme) over this thing, wasting money which could be put to better use, this invisible force which you can't touch, you can't feel, you pay for it but you can't possess, so why is it drummed into the human conscious that we need it? Even Atheists participate in it, amongst all other religions.
So as the title asks, is marriage necessary for two people in a relationship who intend to spend the rest of their lives together?
My girlfiend and I have survived 10 years so far, we're happy and still going strong.
I welcome christian respsonses but it's predictable their outcome, it's a ritual as it is with baptism. I'm hoping the atheists will put me to light on this subject which has always puzzled me.Is Marriage necessary for two people in a relationship who will spend the rest of their lives together?
I haven't really looked into this since I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, but I was under the impression that a legal marriage gave certain legal/financial benefits. For ex. being able to see your partner if they are in the hospital.
I could be wrong, though.Is Marriage necessary for two people in a relationship who will spend the rest of their lives together?
Marriage could help with insurance and taxes...Ya never know! Course, if your the SSI type, you'll do better un-wed; kid will get more from the gobernment.
gutted? she a deer?
ahh ok i understand..sorry to much tequilla tonight
Marriage is a contract that simplifies life by an incredible amount. If your partner gets sick, you can visit them in the hospital. It entitles you to tax breaks, it defaults their possessions to you in the event of an untimely death, it simply makes life together so much simpler.
One practical problem with living together is when eventually one partner dies. Unless you're married, the law will not recognize the surviving partner as an heir, unless maybe he/she gets an expensive lawyer and jumps through a bunch of difficult legal hoops.
Hola, I've attended an Atheist wedding before, and I have to say it was very moving and meaningful for the people getting hitched and the attendees. Marriage is very symbolic ';ritual'; but at the end of the day, you get to define what it symbolizes. Although for others it might be a way to show off and narcissisticly make their life feel complete, it can be different for you. I personally don't feel like you should go through with any kind of predicament that goes against your faith, beleifs, or lack of them. But in the meantime, you love this woman, she loves you, and if she is asking you to spend a couple hours to officially state that you want to be with each other for the rest of your life time is it right or fair of you to completely deny her of this? Marriage isn't necessary to keep two people together, it's more of a proclamation that you WANT to be together (yes much like a bank loan).
My advice would be to consider compromising your feelings for this woman and to explore more non-traditional wedding ceremonies that might end up satisfying you in the long run more than you think.
Good Luck! And congratulations on your ';together-ness'; with this woman.
Christian ';rituals'; signify a depth of purpose, commitment, and love that's much greater than any legal ceremony, let alone any casual living arrangement.
You obviously don't have a clue about the purpose or the ultimate objective of marriage, let alone baptism.
Better hope your ';girlfriend'; doesn't get a better offer.
Sound like you just disapprove of the marriages that you see in the society, so you do not care to be ';married.';
Marriage in my understanding, is a contract between a man and a woman, it wasn't meant to be broken. A contracts binding power is good as the person who keep the commitment.
Anyway, it is a contract meant to be accepted and respected by others. For example, I should not crave after my neighbor's or anyone wife. Of course , most people just do not respect this sacred contract.
You see, society need ';rules'; so it can function, and so every one can be protected. Without rules,what make ';your girl friend'; as you put it, your girl friend. What give you that claim?
Every one can drive a car, but with rules, we can be safe, and when rules are broken, someone will get hurt.
I pretty much agree with you~
Marriage is for society! If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have done it!
The fact that right now, people in power%26gt;.state government, are inclined to tell you who you can marry, and who can not? is total BS!
It should be all or no one!!
A relationship is about commitment! If you don't have commitment in your heart?, fifty marriage licenses won't do you any good! I have heard of people being married for twenty years, and getting divorced, and then there are couples like you two, who don't feel the need~ as for the legalities?, get a power of attorney filled out for each of you!!!
Hope this helped!!
My husband and I had a very economical wedding on the beach it was just the two of us and the person marrying us. It was the most wonderful day of my life, I think of it a lot. We spend the entire evening on the beach looking at the stars. We only spent a couple hundred (we traveled to the beach) but every penny was worth it to have that memory.
No it wasn't necessary we had been together for 5 years before we got married, but I wouldn't trade that day for the world.
To satisfy God and be ';eligible to enter his kingdom'; we are required to do certain things. (See John 3:3-5 for an example) We need to repent, be baptized, have faith in Christ, etc. Marriage is one of those commandments. To please God and satisfy his expectations, you complete the requirements.
I agree with all you said plus:-
There is so much hypocracy talked about the morality of marriage.
I think that marriage is so much encouraged by the state because it is regarded by government as necessary to keep a man working for his wife and children to prevent them being a burden on the state so they give tax and benefit advantages so that the family unit will stay together at least until the children are grown up at which time some tax and benefit advantages are removed.
In fact from a financial standpoint the only time being married serves any purpose is when the time comes to divorce at which time judges and the law conspire to rob the richer, more talented and harder working partner and give to the poorer one who made less contribution to the marriage.
The blatent unfairnes of divorce settlements is obviously another weapon designed to punish people who realise what a scam marriage is and want out of it.
A marriage license is no guarantee that two people will stay together all their lives, just look at the divorce rate. My husband and I are pagans and we had a handfasting ceremony to declare our commitment among our friends and our gods. A handfasting is not legally binding (we don't have a state marriage license), nor is it spiritually binding if the partners decide to split up. I feel as ';married'; to him as if we had a legal document. The only difference is, the government does not recognize us as married. Like I give two hoots what the state of Idaho thinks.
Marriage is one man and one woman for life.
Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
