Monday, December 28, 2009

Divorced people - Did you stay in a bad marriage a long time for the kids?

And if you stayed in a while for the kids, but finally decided to brake it off after a few years - in retrospect, do you wish you ended the marriage sooner, instead of sticking it out for the kids?Divorced people - Did you stay in a bad marriage a long time for the kids?
Some things to consider:





Children are smart. They know when something isn't right with mom and dad.





Think of their guilt when they find out you were miserable so they could live your lie.





Your marriage is the sample your children will build their future relationships on.





You don't stop being their parents just because you are no longer married to their mother or father. Living under the same roof does not make a family.





Staying married for the kids is no gift to them and I really wish people would realize the long term damage they are doing to their kids by staying when they don't want to be there.Divorced people - Did you stay in a bad marriage a long time for the kids?
All I know is that divorce is so much more painful for the children than anyone else. The thing that makes it worse is the fighting and hateful words said about the spouse in front of the children and using the children as a weapon to get back at the other. I could never imagine how it must feel for a little child. I wish people would really try to work things out before divorce and if divorce is the only option I wish they would be mature about it, at least in front of the kids.





So yes I think people should stay in marriage for the children but they should make a sincere effort to work things out, not just be miserable and make everyone else miserable - that's not healthy.
I have never been married or divorced but I can tell you that staying with someone just for the kids is not a good idea. If theres absolutely no way of working it out and theres no love in the marriage then breaking it off is better. I think kids will suffer more if the parents are together and unhappy. My parents used to argue a lot when I was younger and it scarred me so much, they divorced after 15+ years of being married and it couldnt have been soon enough. I would much rather live with my parents divorced instead of seeing them fight all the time and unhappy! you may be doing more harm to the kids by staying together than you think.
As a child of divorced parents, NEVER, stay together for the sake of the kids. If the parents are happy then the children will be happy. If parents are not happy the children suffer. They are smarter than you think and they can tell that something is wrong, especially if the parents are withdrawn, fighting etc. Ultimately, do what makes you happy, it may be hard on the kids in the beginning, but they will be happier in the long run. Trust me. Good luck.
nope...I staid because I was still in love with the idiot but when he couldn't decide between me %26amp; another girl and he was sleeping with her I said enough was enough. I would never stay for the kids if I didn't love my husband. Most of the time the kids are happier with 2 happy divorced parents than 2 miserable married parents. If I were to leave my husband now I would probibly wait untell I got a job %26amp; was able to move out on my own.
I stayed in a bad marriage for about 2 years to long, just for my kids. Then when it finally clicked in my head that it wasn't doing anything for my emotional state I decided I had had enough. I left and have never been happier. It was the best thing to do, to leave, and my kids are much more happier as well.


The kids are 6 and 4.They were 4.5 and 3 when I left.
MY ex stuck it out 9 more years than she wanted to ( i had no idea about this until later, while I stuck it out hoping she'd finally become fascinatingly responsible an not get us further and fritter IN debt with wreckless spending....plus I gave my word until death to us Part....In respect it nearly was my death...If i had know then that she was a paranoid delusional, I would have divorced her years earlier.
i was married for 22 years and yes i said with my husband just for the kids. he cheated on me our whole marriage. he just couldn't stay with one woman. he always came begging back and i did didn't think i could make it with out him wanted to make sure the kids where raised good. ill tell you tho my children did turn out great and im very proud of them but if i had to do it all over again i would have left in the begging
When I was a child, my parents tried to make it work and they really thought they were fooling us for years (my brother and I). Unfortunately, they weren't.





One day they both came home in a good mood...we thought this was very strange because this NEVER happens; that is the night they told us they were separating.





A person can't look back, only forward. If they wouldn't have stayed together, my sister would have never been born (she is 6 years younger than me). Everything happens for a reason.
i am in a bad marriage for the kids for up to 10 yrs now and still staying cos im thinking about my kids not my own happiness and my husband is not really a bad husband .he is a womanizer and a serial cheater .but who knows maybe i will leave him if i cant stand it anymore.
i stayed for awhile bc of them but i finally realized that things were so bad that staying was actually affecting them worse than if we left. so we left.





my children were traumatized but leaving was actually damage-control for the long-term.



I would say yes as long as there is no physical abuse to either spouse or danger to the kids. Parents should sacrifice for the children. After all, it isn't their fault the parents can't get along.


Divorce screws up kids forever.
My divorce had nothing to do with my son. It had to do with me and his father and the fact that I just could not live with the man anymore.





I started my divorce, one week before our third anniversary, our son was one.
Yes if had then I would have help my children to ajust better
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