It's not that big of a deal, so yes. The only problem is that government has attached policy to marriage, which it never should've done. Now, the controversy is that tax dollars are involved (and people are affected) whether it's accepted or not.Should people accept a change to the tradition of marriage to include gay marriage?
Yes, just because something has occurred for a long time doesn't make it right. Slavery used to be an accepted norm as did the rejection of interracial marriage or treating women as property. Societal norms evolve.
Marriage is a civil institution which allows spouses many rights that are not available to couples in domestic partnerships or civil unions. All people deserve to have the same government-protected rights whether they are in a life-long committed relationship with a man or a woman. Also, civil unions or domestic partnerships are not sufficient to ensure that people of all sexual orientations are guaranteed the same civil rights. The Supreme Court wisely decided that separate is inherently unequal, thus civil unions/domestic partnerships cannot be equal. The fact that they are separated is a badge of inferiority. Many religions recognize marriage as a religious institution in addition to a civil one. However, churches may choose which couples to marry. Also, straight couples are able to marry in a civil ceremony even if they are not religious. This is because the United States does not have a national religion; there is a separation of church and state.Should people accept a change to the tradition of marriage to include gay marriage?
No, I think Gay marriage is new and should be consdidered as such socially, but not in terms of the fundimantals such as finance, wills and spousal rights when in ill health.
Yes.
It has no reason to be unacceptable.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
What are your standards for marriage?
This is an add on to the last question that I asked. How many people should they have slept with if any? Do they have to be a certain height? Do they have to be a christian? What are some qualities that would make them the one for you?What are your standards for marriage?
1)none, unless they have repented. 2)no. 3)yes. 4)kind, good morals, can think for themselves.What are your standards for marriage?
Wow it really depends on who you are asking... for me since my faith is most important to me I would hope that it would be important to my spouse as well. height isn't a biggie and being humble and honest is key in a relationship. Prefer that they haven't slept with anyone before marriage... but very hard to come across that now days in America
1)none, unless they have repented. 2)no. 3)yes. 4)kind, good morals, can think for themselves.What are your standards for marriage?
Wow it really depends on who you are asking... for me since my faith is most important to me I would hope that it would be important to my spouse as well. height isn't a biggie and being humble and honest is key in a relationship. Prefer that they haven't slept with anyone before marriage... but very hard to come across that now days in America
If mariage is a strictly religous institution as some opponents of gay marriage claim then why?
is the government involved at all to make it official?If mariage is a strictly religous institution as some opponents of gay marriage claim then why?
What needs to be done is to completely dissociate religious marriage from civil marriage. Where I come from the ONLY marriage recognized by civil law is the civil marriage officiated by a justice of the peace or judge in a court room and that is the ONLY marriage with legal implications.
After that if you want to get married by the church or the satanic rite or the order of the aliens of outer space it's your business. YET if you don't get a civil marriage your other whatever ritual marriage carries no legal implications.
Separate church and state once and for all.If mariage is a strictly religous institution as some opponents of gay marriage claim then why?
Marriage is the foundation of family, and family is the foundation of society, therefore a societies government should be involved in a positive and constructive way to officially sanction and preserve marriage. Much of the official nature of marriage has to do with all the benefits granted to married men and women. Don't confuse the religious nature of the ceremony and meaning of marriage with societies collective support of the institution. Good government should always be involved in maintaining and strengthening the foundation of the society which it governs.
Because the religious institution of marriage cannot affect a citizen's tax filing status and other matters involved with the state, church and state are separate. So really, their is the religious AND the state aspect of marriage.
Simple solution: give gays the same rights, just don't call it a marriage. Those that insist that it has to be called a marriage only want to upset religious people, it has nothing to do with rights at that point. If they want the same rights, they should get them, but I don't see how gays have a right to redefine a religious sacrament.
Government is involved because we have allowed it to be. In my opinion, marriage ought to be a matter of personal contract among individuals (2 or more and of whatever gender suits the individuals). Government only needs to be involved from the standpoint of determining tax rates and other mandated benefits. It is also involved to the extent that it regulates behavior between individuals (for instance, employer benefits).
As you may know from my Q%26amp;A, I oppose all of these government interventions for their own sake. Eliminating them, individuals could embark upon whatever relationships that they wanted without caring what the government called them.
Actually, marriage is strictly a legal institution regulated by the government in the LEGAL sense. Only the government performs or dissolves a marriage legally.
Government authorizes various professional people - judges, mayors, ship captains, religious officials - to perform the marriage ceremony. However, even if a religious official (priest, rabbi, minister, imman, monk, or whatever) officiates at the marriage ceremony, he or she is actually also marrying on behalf of the State only because he is also authorized by the government to do so (the reason for them saying ';by the power vested in my by the State of New York';).
That being said, many religions also recognize some form of religiously governed ';marriage';. The government in the USA is not permitted to interfere and each religious body marries whom it wants according to its own rules. For example, Catholic churches do not allow divorced people to re-marry. Orthodox Jews do not permit a Jew and a non-Jew to marry, etc. Unitarian Universalists and some UCC Churches marry same sex couples now - whether or not the government in that particular location recognizes it. So, religious marriage CAN be in line with LEGAL marriage, often it is not.
The end of a marriage also illustrates this point equally well. When a court approves a the end of a marriage (divorce), the marriage no longer legally exists from a legal standpoint. Religious groups may or may not recognize the divorce (the end of the marriage). Some protestants do, some don't. The Catholic church does not. Jews do, but some require a separate procedure (';get';) for the divorce to be religiously valid. However, the religious view is irrelevant from a legal standpoint, as the two people are no longer married to each other in the legal sense and are free to marry like other singles.
If we were to keep in mind that ';legal marriage'; and ';religious marriage'; are separate institutions, I think the the entire debate around this issue would be less inflamed.
Because nearly all churches and religious orgs are 501c3 non profit corporations, which are created by The State. And the government looks upon marriage as a commercial contract. Face it, our society has been so infiltrated by government it's like Alien. I can't wait for it to chew its way our of our chests.
And as such my friend if the government retains the right to issue marriage licenses then the people who elect said government have the right to decide who gets them and who doesn't.
Not that I give a ratsass who you love and want to marry and will vote against any law that takes rights away from my fellow citizens.
edit: @hopelessly single-can you tell me of a time when man was not constrained by one form of religion or another? Please?
You are asking the same questions that Dick Cheney just answered from his prejudiced standpoint; since his daughter is gay. Of course, if I was a female and Dick Cheney was my Dad, I might approach this gay marriage issue differently. If you know what I mean?
But, marriages in the earlier history of mankind were considered the business of the churches. Why must it be changed now? To placate the desires of a minority of people who choose to reject the norms of the societies in which they live?
I think the claim is only that the term comes from the religious institution.
I'm for freedom and think homosexuals have an opportunity here to be creative and coin their own term for their unions.
You have a bicycle and a motorcycle. They are different yet similar.
It isn't. It's a civil contract with financial implications. So the answer is simple. All ';civil contract'; marriages should be open to all.
Churches can decide who/what can be married in their church.
Perhaps church marriages should be renamed into ';holy marriage'; or some such.
Actually marriage has always been a cultural and religious institution. It has not been practiced uniformly, either. The American description is religious, and nothing else. If there is a true separation of church and state, the government needs to get out of the marriage business.
Because it isn't. Marriage has been part of life long before modern religion. And if it was, we should all be getting civil unions, and if you want to have it ';blessed'; into a marriage, that's your choice.
It's not unless you make it; its primary purpose is about taxes and family wealth distribution. It never ceases to amaze me that gays would want to get involved w. anything so sordid!
becuz property and such after a divorce or such is upheld in gov courts
BINGO
where in the Constitution does it give such authority to the government?
IT DOESNT!
Because the government will get its grubby hands on anything you let it.
Most people, religious or not are against Gay marriage.
Most people, religious or not have morals, ya know.
Commie.
You shall be crushed by the weight of the American Empire!
What needs to be done is to completely dissociate religious marriage from civil marriage. Where I come from the ONLY marriage recognized by civil law is the civil marriage officiated by a justice of the peace or judge in a court room and that is the ONLY marriage with legal implications.
After that if you want to get married by the church or the satanic rite or the order of the aliens of outer space it's your business. YET if you don't get a civil marriage your other whatever ritual marriage carries no legal implications.
Separate church and state once and for all.If mariage is a strictly religous institution as some opponents of gay marriage claim then why?
Marriage is the foundation of family, and family is the foundation of society, therefore a societies government should be involved in a positive and constructive way to officially sanction and preserve marriage. Much of the official nature of marriage has to do with all the benefits granted to married men and women. Don't confuse the religious nature of the ceremony and meaning of marriage with societies collective support of the institution. Good government should always be involved in maintaining and strengthening the foundation of the society which it governs.
Because the religious institution of marriage cannot affect a citizen's tax filing status and other matters involved with the state, church and state are separate. So really, their is the religious AND the state aspect of marriage.
Simple solution: give gays the same rights, just don't call it a marriage. Those that insist that it has to be called a marriage only want to upset religious people, it has nothing to do with rights at that point. If they want the same rights, they should get them, but I don't see how gays have a right to redefine a religious sacrament.
Government is involved because we have allowed it to be. In my opinion, marriage ought to be a matter of personal contract among individuals (2 or more and of whatever gender suits the individuals). Government only needs to be involved from the standpoint of determining tax rates and other mandated benefits. It is also involved to the extent that it regulates behavior between individuals (for instance, employer benefits).
As you may know from my Q%26amp;A, I oppose all of these government interventions for their own sake. Eliminating them, individuals could embark upon whatever relationships that they wanted without caring what the government called them.
Actually, marriage is strictly a legal institution regulated by the government in the LEGAL sense. Only the government performs or dissolves a marriage legally.
Government authorizes various professional people - judges, mayors, ship captains, religious officials - to perform the marriage ceremony. However, even if a religious official (priest, rabbi, minister, imman, monk, or whatever) officiates at the marriage ceremony, he or she is actually also marrying on behalf of the State only because he is also authorized by the government to do so (the reason for them saying ';by the power vested in my by the State of New York';).
That being said, many religions also recognize some form of religiously governed ';marriage';. The government in the USA is not permitted to interfere and each religious body marries whom it wants according to its own rules. For example, Catholic churches do not allow divorced people to re-marry. Orthodox Jews do not permit a Jew and a non-Jew to marry, etc. Unitarian Universalists and some UCC Churches marry same sex couples now - whether or not the government in that particular location recognizes it. So, religious marriage CAN be in line with LEGAL marriage, often it is not.
The end of a marriage also illustrates this point equally well. When a court approves a the end of a marriage (divorce), the marriage no longer legally exists from a legal standpoint. Religious groups may or may not recognize the divorce (the end of the marriage). Some protestants do, some don't. The Catholic church does not. Jews do, but some require a separate procedure (';get';) for the divorce to be religiously valid. However, the religious view is irrelevant from a legal standpoint, as the two people are no longer married to each other in the legal sense and are free to marry like other singles.
If we were to keep in mind that ';legal marriage'; and ';religious marriage'; are separate institutions, I think the the entire debate around this issue would be less inflamed.
Because nearly all churches and religious orgs are 501c3 non profit corporations, which are created by The State. And the government looks upon marriage as a commercial contract. Face it, our society has been so infiltrated by government it's like Alien. I can't wait for it to chew its way our of our chests.
And as such my friend if the government retains the right to issue marriage licenses then the people who elect said government have the right to decide who gets them and who doesn't.
Not that I give a ratsass who you love and want to marry and will vote against any law that takes rights away from my fellow citizens.
edit: @hopelessly single-can you tell me of a time when man was not constrained by one form of religion or another? Please?
You are asking the same questions that Dick Cheney just answered from his prejudiced standpoint; since his daughter is gay. Of course, if I was a female and Dick Cheney was my Dad, I might approach this gay marriage issue differently. If you know what I mean?
But, marriages in the earlier history of mankind were considered the business of the churches. Why must it be changed now? To placate the desires of a minority of people who choose to reject the norms of the societies in which they live?
I think the claim is only that the term comes from the religious institution.
I'm for freedom and think homosexuals have an opportunity here to be creative and coin their own term for their unions.
You have a bicycle and a motorcycle. They are different yet similar.
It isn't. It's a civil contract with financial implications. So the answer is simple. All ';civil contract'; marriages should be open to all.
Churches can decide who/what can be married in their church.
Perhaps church marriages should be renamed into ';holy marriage'; or some such.
Actually marriage has always been a cultural and religious institution. It has not been practiced uniformly, either. The American description is religious, and nothing else. If there is a true separation of church and state, the government needs to get out of the marriage business.
Because it isn't. Marriage has been part of life long before modern religion. And if it was, we should all be getting civil unions, and if you want to have it ';blessed'; into a marriage, that's your choice.
It's not unless you make it; its primary purpose is about taxes and family wealth distribution. It never ceases to amaze me that gays would want to get involved w. anything so sordid!
becuz property and such after a divorce or such is upheld in gov courts
BINGO
where in the Constitution does it give such authority to the government?
IT DOESNT!
Because the government will get its grubby hands on anything you let it.
Most people, religious or not are against Gay marriage.
Most people, religious or not have morals, ya know.
Commie.
You shall be crushed by the weight of the American Empire!
I am a british subject and my husband walked out of our marriage two weeks after arriving on his spouse visa?
The home office have revoked my ex-husband's visa as he walked out the marriage two weeks after arriving from the carribbean to join me on his spouse visa. I am now divorced what will happen as he is appealling the home office decision. He was asked to leave the uk after 28 days. Will I have to go to court or anything.I am a british subject and my husband walked out of our marriage two weeks after arriving on his spouse visa?
only if there was some problem, that needed your clarification...
but he just walked out, cos he didn't want to be with you, and just wanted into the UK...
look forward to him being deported... serves him right...I am a british subject and my husband walked out of our marriage two weeks after arriving on his spouse visa?
If you only married him to get him into Britain, then you might have a problem. If you are just as surprized that he only married you for immigration, then you are also a victim. You might be called into court ( if it even gets that far) to testify against him.
He was using ';marriage'; to you as an entry to the UK.
The marriage was invalid and he will be deported.
Your divorce should be enough evidence that the marriage was not undertaken with the intention of being permanent.
2 points
he was just using u.lipstick gloss
only if there was some problem, that needed your clarification...
but he just walked out, cos he didn't want to be with you, and just wanted into the UK...
look forward to him being deported... serves him right...I am a british subject and my husband walked out of our marriage two weeks after arriving on his spouse visa?
If you only married him to get him into Britain, then you might have a problem. If you are just as surprized that he only married you for immigration, then you are also a victim. You might be called into court ( if it even gets that far) to testify against him.
He was using ';marriage'; to you as an entry to the UK.
The marriage was invalid and he will be deported.
Your divorce should be enough evidence that the marriage was not undertaken with the intention of being permanent.
2 points
he was just using u.
Where can I find ';free'; marriage and divorce records for New Jersey?
I am searchiong for marriage and divorce records but I do not want to pay. These are public records but I can't seem to find a site that provides this information for freeWhere can I find ';free'; marriage and divorce records for New Jersey?
You can get them at the County Court House for free. On line will probably cost you something.Where can I find ';free'; marriage and divorce records for New Jersey?
New Jersey doesn't consider marriage and divorce records to be public records so you can't search for them online for free. New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services recommends visiting your local vital records office.
More then likely you wont find it online (for free) but you can go to the court house where the marriage/divorce records were filed and look at them for free. If you want to get copies you will have to pay for that.
Marriage record online may be possible by visiting this site and click on the link that says SSN it has both paid and Free option.
Best of luck.
You can get them at the County Court House for free. On line will probably cost you something.Where can I find ';free'; marriage and divorce records for New Jersey?
New Jersey doesn't consider marriage and divorce records to be public records so you can't search for them online for free. New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services recommends visiting your local vital records office.
More then likely you wont find it online (for free) but you can go to the court house where the marriage/divorce records were filed and look at them for free. If you want to get copies you will have to pay for that.
Marriage record online may be possible by visiting this site and click on the link that says SSN it has both paid and Free option.
Best of luck.
How would I find the marriage license of walter dayringer and martha reynald?
I would like to find martha reynald dayringer to see if she is still a
liveHow would I find the marriage license of walter dayringer and martha reynald?
Since you want to see if she is still living, and the 74 privacy laws prevent that info being published, you would have to know where they were married and check the records in the court house of that county.How would I find the marriage license of walter dayringer and martha reynald?
the social security death index has both a Walter Dayringer born 1911 of Ohio, and a Martha, born the same year, also of Ohio. It seems this is probably the couple you want. That Martha died in 1990.
With those dates, estimate that they married between 1931-1941, or thereabouts. Both probably are living with parents in the 1920 census, and POSSIBLY in 1930.
If looking for children.. you would probably want to see if either had an obituary.
Look her up on the Social Security Death index at LDS site www.familysearch.org or www.Ancestry.com. If she is listed she is no longer alive. If not do a people search at Yahoo.
liveHow would I find the marriage license of walter dayringer and martha reynald?
Since you want to see if she is still living, and the 74 privacy laws prevent that info being published, you would have to know where they were married and check the records in the court house of that county.How would I find the marriage license of walter dayringer and martha reynald?
the social security death index has both a Walter Dayringer born 1911 of Ohio, and a Martha, born the same year, also of Ohio. It seems this is probably the couple you want. That Martha died in 1990.
With those dates, estimate that they married between 1931-1941, or thereabouts. Both probably are living with parents in the 1920 census, and POSSIBLY in 1930.
If looking for children.. you would probably want to see if either had an obituary.
Look her up on the Social Security Death index at LDS site www.familysearch.org or www.Ancestry.com. If she is listed she is no longer alive. If not do a people search at Yahoo.
How would your typical Islamic Republic respond to the notion of gay ';marriage'; politically speaking?
An Islamic Republic would announce that all homosexuals that would like to be ';married'; to come to the city/village/town Mosque square. An Iman would ask these couples to state their purpose for being in the square and do they or have they engaged in homosexual relations.
Once these newly weds announce their intent in front of witnesses, another cleric would instruct the guards to arrest them and within minutes to hours they would be hanged or beheaded or in Iran shot.
So the President of IRAN would be speaking the truth for any publicly aknowledge homosexuals.How would your typical Islamic Republic respond to the notion of gay ';marriage'; politically speaking?
They would not entertain the idea, and probably would not respond with anything but litanies about how gays need to be put to death. Ahmadinejad claimed there are no gays in Iran - the epitome of delusional rationalization. I'm very glad that we are not a typical Islamic Republic. We are far more civilized and far less radically bigoted. Well, most of us at least.How would your typical Islamic Republic respond to the notion of gay ';marriage'; politically speaking?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_3RUwAJ_鈥?/a>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx949cehG鈥?/a>
In countries that ascribe to Sharia, homosexuals are killed if they are discovered. Gay marriage will NEVER exist in those countries, period. It can't. Muslims do not tolerate homosexuality, they violently try to eradicate it.
Great, we're a couple steps up from ';islamic republics'; when it comes to equal rights.
Way to be guys, way to be.
We're also a ';couple steps up'; from terrorists when it comes to torturing people too. Cons would like to tell you that 'waterboarding isn't torture compared to what they do';
When did we base our values and equal rights on what third-world countries do?
In the United Arab Emerites, if a man is raped, he can be arrested for homosexuality.
Many of the people of many muslim countries are somewhat liberal, including places like Lebenon and Iran, but the governments are not at all and the concept of gay rights is ludicrous to them.
They don't even recognize that they have gays, so (lol) they don't have a problem with it.
If they did, for one moment think that a Muslim could do such an unnatural thing, what with sheep being so convenient and all, they would do exactly what so many here think we should do...ban it.
Make it illegal. Deny the rights and responsibilities of marriage to any who do not share their view.
All theocracies at their heart are the same.
They would be killed but this is strange.
they would go on a beheading rampage.
which is what some of my more loony acquaintances have suggested needs to be done here in america.
respond with public executions
gay marriage is not an issue, because gays are still fighting for their right to keep their heads.
There are no gays in the Islamic world because they are all killed.
Hanging and stoning.
The President of Iran states there are no gays in Iran.
It would not rise to the level of being thought about.
Death.
Off with their heads.
your ';big'; head and your ';little'; head would both be whacked off..
The same way as the radical Christian do. That's how I see it.
Once these newly weds announce their intent in front of witnesses, another cleric would instruct the guards to arrest them and within minutes to hours they would be hanged or beheaded or in Iran shot.
So the President of IRAN would be speaking the truth for any publicly aknowledge homosexuals.How would your typical Islamic Republic respond to the notion of gay ';marriage'; politically speaking?
They would not entertain the idea, and probably would not respond with anything but litanies about how gays need to be put to death. Ahmadinejad claimed there are no gays in Iran - the epitome of delusional rationalization. I'm very glad that we are not a typical Islamic Republic. We are far more civilized and far less radically bigoted. Well, most of us at least.How would your typical Islamic Republic respond to the notion of gay ';marriage'; politically speaking?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_3RUwAJ_鈥?/a>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx949cehG鈥?/a>
In countries that ascribe to Sharia, homosexuals are killed if they are discovered. Gay marriage will NEVER exist in those countries, period. It can't. Muslims do not tolerate homosexuality, they violently try to eradicate it.
Great, we're a couple steps up from ';islamic republics'; when it comes to equal rights.
Way to be guys, way to be.
We're also a ';couple steps up'; from terrorists when it comes to torturing people too. Cons would like to tell you that 'waterboarding isn't torture compared to what they do';
When did we base our values and equal rights on what third-world countries do?
In the United Arab Emerites, if a man is raped, he can be arrested for homosexuality.
Many of the people of many muslim countries are somewhat liberal, including places like Lebenon and Iran, but the governments are not at all and the concept of gay rights is ludicrous to them.
They don't even recognize that they have gays, so (lol) they don't have a problem with it.
If they did, for one moment think that a Muslim could do such an unnatural thing, what with sheep being so convenient and all, they would do exactly what so many here think we should do...ban it.
Make it illegal. Deny the rights and responsibilities of marriage to any who do not share their view.
All theocracies at their heart are the same.
They would be killed but this is strange.
they would go on a beheading rampage.
which is what some of my more loony acquaintances have suggested needs to be done here in america.
respond with public executions
gay marriage is not an issue, because gays are still fighting for their right to keep their heads.
There are no gays in the Islamic world because they are all killed.
Hanging and stoning.
The President of Iran states there are no gays in Iran.
It would not rise to the level of being thought about.
Death.
Off with their heads.
your ';big'; head and your ';little'; head would both be whacked off..
The same way as the radical Christian do. That's how I see it.
How many Married Women do all The Cooking and laundry in The Marriage?
Im asking This again Because Someone Reported it and it was taken Down.How many Married Women do all The Cooking and laundry in The Marriage?
I do almost all of the cooking, because we all agree that I am the better cook! LOL But he does the dishes. We split the laundry and most of the other household chores. We both work outside the home. In the summer when his hours are longer, I try to do more of the house work.How many Married Women do all The Cooking and laundry in The Marriage?
I enjoy cooking and laundering, its not as if I have to work harder, just drop in an extra steak and an extra few clothes. I am not selfish and my partner is very considerate as he helps in other house chores that requires a man, like fixing up things around the house, move furniture for me to clean, take out the garbage, wash the cars. It all evens out at the end if you have good communication and lots of love for each other.
When my husband is gone I do all the cooking and laundry. What other choice do I have? When he is here I do most of the cooking during the week(I don't work as many hours outside the home). He will usually cook dinner at least once on the weekends. He washes his own ACUs(since they need to be washed seperately) and any clothing that he wears to work on our cars in. While he is not good at the day to day cleaning he is great about kicking all of us out of the house and doing a massive cleaning when he's here about once every couple of months.
I do ALL the laundry buy I will not complain as he does 90% of the cooking because he enjoys it and is a Professional chef. I usually do the dishes, we shop together, and share doing stuff for/with the kids. He does all the lawn care and snow removal, but I do all the gardening except the tilling. Maybe it does sound fair but it works good for us.
My mom does all the cooking unless it is out on the grill and then sometimes she does it. My dad thinks since he works two hours longer than my mom she should do everything around the house. If my mom or I didn't not do the laundry he would not have clothes to wear. My mom recently had surgery and had to stay at her parents house because she could not get up the stairs to go to the restroom and our only bathroom is upstairs. I found out how she has to do everything because my dad did nothing. After i got home from school I was expected to have dinner ready and all my normal chores done. I get home at three from school and he gets home around 4:30. I never had enough time to do everything and he was always an ***. Needless to say my mom and i do everything around the house.
I do the laundry and most of the cooking since my husband works full time and I don't. But on the weekends, he loves to cook and help clean if need be.
When we were both working, we would do all of that together.
I do those things because he treats me so well, I want to keep him looking, and feeling tight. I love to keep my man looking fly. I dont mind. when I ask for Jimmy Choo shoes he does not bat an eye. I aply lotion to him every night after a bath too. He is well taken care of.
As a child my stepmother made me do all of the house work, then tell me to do it again because it was not ';good enough';. I split the work with my wife, it mainly depends on who has more free time during the week.
I do. If I quit washing his clothes..then he will take the initiative and wash a load..mostly of his clothes. And when I work he has to cook for the children but it isn't uncommon for him to give them cereal for dinner!
i do.....i enjoy cooking and the laundry, i just dont want anything to be ruined. i feel more comfortable doing it. :)
I do the laundry because my husband ruins clothes. He does the cooking.
I do, he leaves earlier and gets home later than I do.
Although, with most couples I know, the husband does the cooking and they each do their own laundry.....
i believe most of the women have no choice on this.
i'd like a husband who is wiling to help out on those.haha...
I do ... it's normal cause someone has to do it!
I do almost all of the cooking, because we all agree that I am the better cook! LOL But he does the dishes. We split the laundry and most of the other household chores. We both work outside the home. In the summer when his hours are longer, I try to do more of the house work.How many Married Women do all The Cooking and laundry in The Marriage?
I enjoy cooking and laundering, its not as if I have to work harder, just drop in an extra steak and an extra few clothes. I am not selfish and my partner is very considerate as he helps in other house chores that requires a man, like fixing up things around the house, move furniture for me to clean, take out the garbage, wash the cars. It all evens out at the end if you have good communication and lots of love for each other.
When my husband is gone I do all the cooking and laundry. What other choice do I have? When he is here I do most of the cooking during the week(I don't work as many hours outside the home). He will usually cook dinner at least once on the weekends. He washes his own ACUs(since they need to be washed seperately) and any clothing that he wears to work on our cars in. While he is not good at the day to day cleaning he is great about kicking all of us out of the house and doing a massive cleaning when he's here about once every couple of months.
I do ALL the laundry buy I will not complain as he does 90% of the cooking because he enjoys it and is a Professional chef. I usually do the dishes, we shop together, and share doing stuff for/with the kids. He does all the lawn care and snow removal, but I do all the gardening except the tilling. Maybe it does sound fair but it works good for us.
My mom does all the cooking unless it is out on the grill and then sometimes she does it. My dad thinks since he works two hours longer than my mom she should do everything around the house. If my mom or I didn't not do the laundry he would not have clothes to wear. My mom recently had surgery and had to stay at her parents house because she could not get up the stairs to go to the restroom and our only bathroom is upstairs. I found out how she has to do everything because my dad did nothing. After i got home from school I was expected to have dinner ready and all my normal chores done. I get home at three from school and he gets home around 4:30. I never had enough time to do everything and he was always an ***. Needless to say my mom and i do everything around the house.
I do the laundry and most of the cooking since my husband works full time and I don't. But on the weekends, he loves to cook and help clean if need be.
When we were both working, we would do all of that together.
I do those things because he treats me so well, I want to keep him looking, and feeling tight. I love to keep my man looking fly. I dont mind. when I ask for Jimmy Choo shoes he does not bat an eye. I aply lotion to him every night after a bath too. He is well taken care of.
As a child my stepmother made me do all of the house work, then tell me to do it again because it was not ';good enough';. I split the work with my wife, it mainly depends on who has more free time during the week.
I do. If I quit washing his clothes..then he will take the initiative and wash a load..mostly of his clothes. And when I work he has to cook for the children but it isn't uncommon for him to give them cereal for dinner!
i do.....i enjoy cooking and the laundry, i just dont want anything to be ruined. i feel more comfortable doing it. :)
I do the laundry because my husband ruins clothes. He does the cooking.
I do, he leaves earlier and gets home later than I do.
Although, with most couples I know, the husband does the cooking and they each do their own laundry.....
i believe most of the women have no choice on this.
i'd like a husband who is wiling to help out on those.haha...
I do ... it's normal cause someone has to do it!
The effects of slavery on marriage in the South included all of the following except?
a.it meant the states made slave marriages legal as a control mechanism
b.it made it highly unstable for blacks because of the internal slave trade
c.it made white owners encourage slave marriages
d.it led to the creation of african american kindship networksThe effects of slavery on marriage in the South included all of the following except?
To be honest, the question makes no real sense and trying to derive an answer with the choices given makes even less sense. Back in the bleak years of our country's growing stage, yes there was an a period when slavery seemed to be acceptable. And as horrible that that was, it was not a concern to the ';owners of slaves'; what their marital status was with another slave. they where bought and sold as we do cows now days, a simple commodity. your list....................................鈥?br>
A: meant that states made slave marriages legal as a control mechanism? Not likely, they had no legal rights, none.
B:it made it highly unstable for blacks because of the internal slave trade? again they had no rights whatsoever so any argument they had or will ever have at that point in time is moot.
C: it made white (there were other people of different color and race as well as black that had a hand in this horrible place in history, just to be clear) encourage slave marriages? as pointed out before, at that time, they were considered as ';stock'; we still practice today the breeding of the cows and pigs to make them the best genetically profitable/ product that they can be thus being more valuable to the owner, and sadly, to enhance his/hers trade price.
D: it led to the creation of africain american ';kindship'; networks.
I must assume you mean ';kin ship'; . What do you think? what if you and a few of your fellow humans (not thinking about the skin color), were suddenly sucked up by an alien spaceship? would you, if possible try to hang together? I'm sure you would. you would hang with those you know , can relate with, and try to figure out what you need to do to live.
We as a people have for the most part, have grown beyond the past and have applied what we have learned to never let it happen again, either here in this country (USA) or any place on earth.Yes there are still jerks and *******, but there are more of us that will always remember.
Life is too short to worry about the trivial,
make your life not so trivial
live it to the best that you can
the best that you can
then say at your at your deathbed
I did the best that I could,
and rest in peace.
b.it made it highly unstable for blacks because of the internal slave trade
c.it made white owners encourage slave marriages
d.it led to the creation of african american kindship networksThe effects of slavery on marriage in the South included all of the following except?
To be honest, the question makes no real sense and trying to derive an answer with the choices given makes even less sense. Back in the bleak years of our country's growing stage, yes there was an a period when slavery seemed to be acceptable. And as horrible that that was, it was not a concern to the ';owners of slaves'; what their marital status was with another slave. they where bought and sold as we do cows now days, a simple commodity. your list....................................鈥?br>
A: meant that states made slave marriages legal as a control mechanism? Not likely, they had no legal rights, none.
B:it made it highly unstable for blacks because of the internal slave trade? again they had no rights whatsoever so any argument they had or will ever have at that point in time is moot.
C: it made white (there were other people of different color and race as well as black that had a hand in this horrible place in history, just to be clear) encourage slave marriages? as pointed out before, at that time, they were considered as ';stock'; we still practice today the breeding of the cows and pigs to make them the best genetically profitable/ product that they can be thus being more valuable to the owner, and sadly, to enhance his/hers trade price.
D: it led to the creation of africain american ';kindship'; networks.
I must assume you mean ';kin ship'; . What do you think? what if you and a few of your fellow humans (not thinking about the skin color), were suddenly sucked up by an alien spaceship? would you, if possible try to hang together? I'm sure you would. you would hang with those you know , can relate with, and try to figure out what you need to do to live.
We as a people have for the most part, have grown beyond the past and have applied what we have learned to never let it happen again, either here in this country (USA) or any place on earth.Yes there are still jerks and *******, but there are more of us that will always remember.
Life is too short to worry about the trivial,
make your life not so trivial
live it to the best that you can
the best that you can
then say at your at your deathbed
I did the best that I could,
and rest in peace.
Even after engagement, woman says she will not turn claddagh ring until marriage. Right to be mad?
Honestly, this bothers me. We are both of Irish descent. Even though we are engaged, she said she will not turn her ring ';in'; until we are married.
It bothers me because she works at a job where she can't always wear her wedding ring. I think it's a slap in the face and that she's trying to hide from other that she is engaged since she will not turn her ring ';in.';
Opinions?Even after engagement, woman says she will not turn claddagh ring until marriage. Right to be mad?
Technically it is a gift and she has the right to keep it, but any decent woman would return an engagement ring if you asked.Even after engagement, woman says she will not turn claddagh ring until marriage. Right to be mad?
I'm of irish decent too and if I'm not mistaken the claddagh is not turned 'in' until after marriage because technically she's still single, her heart is possibly available until the marriage vows...an engagement is just a vow to marry, it's NOT a marriage.
Besides, how many of her co-workers understand how the way a claddagh is worn really means..if they even notice a change in the direction? Really you are nit-picking here and anyone at work who knows her knows she's engaged so what are ya belly -achin' about...want the world to know for sure she's engaged? Have her wear the universal symbol of engagement in this day and age...a diamond solitaire...good grief.
I'm not Irish, but I have a fair number of friends that do follow that tradition. I'm kind of worried for you, man. Engaged usually is when they do turn the ring ';in,'; but that isn't everyones opinion on the matter. Hopefully there is an upside; I assume that she does wear an engagement ring that you gave her. I suggest you explain that your perspective. If she loves you, she will at least share hers with you.
'; Claddagh worn on the left hand ring finger, facing outward away from the body, generally indicates that the wearer is engaged. When the ring is on the left hand ring finger and facing inward toward the body, it generally means that the person wearing the ring is married'; as long as its on her left hand then she is wearing it properly.
she might not want to ';count her eggs until they hatch.'; Maybe she is nervous that you might not be as serious as you really are. Just accept that she see's marriage as the finish line and she will turn it in then.
Not sure what it means. But if it means your engaged and she doesn't want to do it, I would have a talk with her and find out what she really wants from your relationship.
well then slap your face and get it over with, cuz she's not gonna turn it in until she's married.
You have way too much time on your handsskin care cosmetics
It bothers me because she works at a job where she can't always wear her wedding ring. I think it's a slap in the face and that she's trying to hide from other that she is engaged since she will not turn her ring ';in.';
Opinions?Even after engagement, woman says she will not turn claddagh ring until marriage. Right to be mad?
Technically it is a gift and she has the right to keep it, but any decent woman would return an engagement ring if you asked.Even after engagement, woman says she will not turn claddagh ring until marriage. Right to be mad?
I'm of irish decent too and if I'm not mistaken the claddagh is not turned 'in' until after marriage because technically she's still single, her heart is possibly available until the marriage vows...an engagement is just a vow to marry, it's NOT a marriage.
Besides, how many of her co-workers understand how the way a claddagh is worn really means..if they even notice a change in the direction? Really you are nit-picking here and anyone at work who knows her knows she's engaged so what are ya belly -achin' about...want the world to know for sure she's engaged? Have her wear the universal symbol of engagement in this day and age...a diamond solitaire...good grief.
I'm not Irish, but I have a fair number of friends that do follow that tradition. I'm kind of worried for you, man. Engaged usually is when they do turn the ring ';in,'; but that isn't everyones opinion on the matter. Hopefully there is an upside; I assume that she does wear an engagement ring that you gave her. I suggest you explain that your perspective. If she loves you, she will at least share hers with you.
'; Claddagh worn on the left hand ring finger, facing outward away from the body, generally indicates that the wearer is engaged. When the ring is on the left hand ring finger and facing inward toward the body, it generally means that the person wearing the ring is married'; as long as its on her left hand then she is wearing it properly.
she might not want to ';count her eggs until they hatch.'; Maybe she is nervous that you might not be as serious as you really are. Just accept that she see's marriage as the finish line and she will turn it in then.
Not sure what it means. But if it means your engaged and she doesn't want to do it, I would have a talk with her and find out what she really wants from your relationship.
well then slap your face and get it over with, cuz she's not gonna turn it in until she's married.
You have way too much time on your hands
Do you have to be 21 to fix your imigration status through marriage to a citizen?
Well i met my wife in highschool and we have been together for 4 years we love each other and she is trying to help me to get my green card. I turned 21 a couple of days ago and she will turn 21 in a month, and i just wanted to know if we both have to be 21 to start the process.Do you have to be 21 to fix your imigration status through marriage to a citizen?
No, you both do not have to be 21.
Check out the site below.
No, you both do not have to be 21.
Check out the site below.
Do you have to be 21 to fix your imigration status through marriage to a citizen?
Well i met my wife in highschool and we have been together for 4 years we love each other and she is trying to help me to get my green card. I turned 21 a couple of days ago and she will turn 21 in a month, and i just wanted to know if we both have to be 21 to start the process.Do you have to be 21 to fix your imigration status through marriage to a citizen?
No, you both do not have to be 21.
Check out the site below.
No, you both do not have to be 21.
Check out the site below.
How do u get a Christian girl to sleep with you before marriage?
First you have to have no morals. Second you have to lie. Third you have to pretend to love God. Fourth God will give you your wish and let you go to Hell for choosing to go there.How do u get a Christian girl to sleep with you before marriage?
Saddlebacking!
Saddlebacking: sad鈥le鈥ack鈥ng \藞sa-d蓹l-藞ba-ki艐\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she鈥檚 saving herself for marriage. Unfortunately her parents found out because they got santorum all over the sheets.How do u get a Christian girl to sleep with you before marriage?
You are absolutely disgusting for posting this sort of question. If you cared about this girl at all, you would respect what is important to her, which is clearly her religion. It is hard enough being a Christian in today's society without fake people worming their way into your life and pretending to care about you.
Some real interesting points I found from a recent question posted on Y! Answers;
Atheists tend to suffer from a rare, more aggressive form of unwarranted self-importance. Atheists typically think they are smarter than you no matter what. Just try to correct them on something and prepare to be blasted away with some ';SERIOUS ******* LOGIC';. Like furries, many exhibit very serious cases of a persecution complex, believing that Secret Christian Anonymous Terrorists (SCAT) are trying to eradicate them by putting the word ';God'; in things.
Many atheists generally suffer under the delusion that religion somehow is the cause of all conflict and that it is directly responsible for every war and murder that has ever occurred in history, when in reality it is just a source of major lulz for their more temperate kin. Of course, most atheists fail to realize that, with or without religion, there will always be stupid people in the world who will fervently believe anything they read.
Generally, all atheists are liberals or libertarians with serious superiority complexes who are often willing to argue with anyone, especially Christians. Of course, potential adversaries usually line up to fight them. The ones who do get into such arguments are 13-year-old girls who either call the atheists stupid close minded liberals (with good reason) and run away claiming victory or become seriously hurt and retreat to their hugboxes to BAWWWWW some more. Either way, the argument goes nowhere, neither viewpoint gains any ground one way or the other, and both participants are losers.
Many of them believe that some philosopher (e.g., Fridrich Nietzsche or Karl Popper) has proved that atheism is correct. However, they will of course dismiss any philosopher that believes in God through the infallible argument that anyone that believes in a God is stupid, which means anything they say is stupid, which means that it would just be wasting the intellectually superior atheist's time.
Atheists, who thinks that Christians is stoopid, have a tendency to use the words ';irrational';, ';delusion';, and anything that makes them look smart that revolves around these two words.
Atheists tend to gripe about how religious people say that they can't be moral. But if they don't believe in anything, why do they care about morality? The truth is, atheists have no morals; given the chance, they would rape and murder every member of your family, simply for the lulz of it. Trying to prove this to an atheist will result in a 10-page rant about how morals are natural and are pre-programmed to keep us from murdering our families, friends and neighbors for their delicious cake. Nevertheless, the atheist will fail to realize that nobody gives a darn, and will keep on ranting until the listener gets bored and walks off or stops reading. Those who aren't busy posting in threads about the deeper meanings in the lyrics of System of a Down also seem to like to vlog it up on YouTube and cry about how they are being mistreated by the 鈥渆vil Christians';.
Important Facts About Atheism
They have the ability to grow neckbeards at an accelerated rate.
They talk to each other using sarcasm so unclear, that only other atheists can translate it.
Atheists have the ability to think freely which helps them spell better OTI and find porn.
They are smarter than you since they've browsed various skeptic's publications.
All atheists became atheists because they know they are going to Hell and are in denial.
Atheists get their knowledge of the Bible only by searching ';Bible contradictions'; on Google.
Well if she is a true Christian girl and values her relationship with God she will not do anything to compromise that!!
Also if she has any dignity about herself she will not.
Why would you want to? If your going to marry her anyway - Wait!! Where is your dignity or relationship with God??
Satan is using you - Please pray for help from this temptation!
You're really hurting the argument that atheists are equally as morally upright as those with religion. Consensual or not, manipulation is immoral. Respect her beliefs, break up, and date someone who has a different set of priorities.
...abstinence only education (taught in christian schools) yeilds a higher teen pregnancy rate, so i'd say that it might be as easy to get a christian girl to sleep with you before marriage as any other girl.
Converse....quit saying that you are Christian. YOU ARE NOT. You are the reason that the world is scoffing at Christianity. No judgement here...just a fact. Maybe have a look at that book that Christians follow..........
I heard from a reliable source that you have to have large Gentiles.
You don't, creep.
If you just want to sleep with her, you should find a different woman. Either respect her, or leave her alone.
Same as anyone else. Christians are not universally opposed to the idea.
I'm not going to answer this question
Not because I'm like ';omg sex is bad';
because honestly..im a christian, and I ain't waitin till marriage
But the way you worded it tells me ur a pig
There's a Christian girl waiting for marriage?
try wine, use diamonds, just like any girl....
you don't
You must show her that you have plenty of experience eating at the Y.
You don't. Simple as that. Your question is incredibly disgusting. You do not disrespect any woman's morals in anyway! It is better for you to break up with a woman than disrespect her personal beliefs on sex.
Take Tim's advice.
Tell her Jebus would have wanted it that way (then don't marry her...)
tell her god told you to have sex. Worked for bush when he said god told him to go to iraq
I doubt any girl even a Christian girl would want to sleep with you.....
you don't
Tell her that the Virgin Mary was an unwed mom. She was. She was betrothed to Joseph, but not married. Besides, you can have sex in many ways while still preserving her virginity. Oral sex is great fun, as is mutual masturbation.
Foreplay.
Get her drunk.
The blood of Christ. Lots of it!
be a really hot guy.
this question has plagued me for years
Saddlebacking!
Saddlebacking: sad鈥le鈥ack鈥ng \藞sa-d蓹l-藞ba-ki艐\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she鈥檚 saving herself for marriage. Unfortunately her parents found out because they got santorum all over the sheets.How do u get a Christian girl to sleep with you before marriage?
You are absolutely disgusting for posting this sort of question. If you cared about this girl at all, you would respect what is important to her, which is clearly her religion. It is hard enough being a Christian in today's society without fake people worming their way into your life and pretending to care about you.
Some real interesting points I found from a recent question posted on Y! Answers;
Atheists tend to suffer from a rare, more aggressive form of unwarranted self-importance. Atheists typically think they are smarter than you no matter what. Just try to correct them on something and prepare to be blasted away with some ';SERIOUS ******* LOGIC';. Like furries, many exhibit very serious cases of a persecution complex, believing that Secret Christian Anonymous Terrorists (SCAT) are trying to eradicate them by putting the word ';God'; in things.
Many atheists generally suffer under the delusion that religion somehow is the cause of all conflict and that it is directly responsible for every war and murder that has ever occurred in history, when in reality it is just a source of major lulz for their more temperate kin. Of course, most atheists fail to realize that, with or without religion, there will always be stupid people in the world who will fervently believe anything they read.
Generally, all atheists are liberals or libertarians with serious superiority complexes who are often willing to argue with anyone, especially Christians. Of course, potential adversaries usually line up to fight them. The ones who do get into such arguments are 13-year-old girls who either call the atheists stupid close minded liberals (with good reason) and run away claiming victory or become seriously hurt and retreat to their hugboxes to BAWWWWW some more. Either way, the argument goes nowhere, neither viewpoint gains any ground one way or the other, and both participants are losers.
Many of them believe that some philosopher (e.g., Fridrich Nietzsche or Karl Popper) has proved that atheism is correct. However, they will of course dismiss any philosopher that believes in God through the infallible argument that anyone that believes in a God is stupid, which means anything they say is stupid, which means that it would just be wasting the intellectually superior atheist's time.
Atheists, who thinks that Christians is stoopid, have a tendency to use the words ';irrational';, ';delusion';, and anything that makes them look smart that revolves around these two words.
Atheists tend to gripe about how religious people say that they can't be moral. But if they don't believe in anything, why do they care about morality? The truth is, atheists have no morals; given the chance, they would rape and murder every member of your family, simply for the lulz of it. Trying to prove this to an atheist will result in a 10-page rant about how morals are natural and are pre-programmed to keep us from murdering our families, friends and neighbors for their delicious cake. Nevertheless, the atheist will fail to realize that nobody gives a darn, and will keep on ranting until the listener gets bored and walks off or stops reading. Those who aren't busy posting in threads about the deeper meanings in the lyrics of System of a Down also seem to like to vlog it up on YouTube and cry about how they are being mistreated by the 鈥渆vil Christians';.
Important Facts About Atheism
They have the ability to grow neckbeards at an accelerated rate.
They talk to each other using sarcasm so unclear, that only other atheists can translate it.
Atheists have the ability to think freely which helps them spell better OTI and find porn.
They are smarter than you since they've browsed various skeptic's publications.
All atheists became atheists because they know they are going to Hell and are in denial.
Atheists get their knowledge of the Bible only by searching ';Bible contradictions'; on Google.
Well if she is a true Christian girl and values her relationship with God she will not do anything to compromise that!!
Also if she has any dignity about herself she will not.
Why would you want to? If your going to marry her anyway - Wait!! Where is your dignity or relationship with God??
Satan is using you - Please pray for help from this temptation!
You're really hurting the argument that atheists are equally as morally upright as those with religion. Consensual or not, manipulation is immoral. Respect her beliefs, break up, and date someone who has a different set of priorities.
...abstinence only education (taught in christian schools) yeilds a higher teen pregnancy rate, so i'd say that it might be as easy to get a christian girl to sleep with you before marriage as any other girl.
Converse....quit saying that you are Christian. YOU ARE NOT. You are the reason that the world is scoffing at Christianity. No judgement here...just a fact. Maybe have a look at that book that Christians follow..........
I heard from a reliable source that you have to have large Gentiles.
You don't, creep.
If you just want to sleep with her, you should find a different woman. Either respect her, or leave her alone.
Same as anyone else. Christians are not universally opposed to the idea.
I'm not going to answer this question
Not because I'm like ';omg sex is bad';
because honestly..im a christian, and I ain't waitin till marriage
But the way you worded it tells me ur a pig
There's a Christian girl waiting for marriage?
try wine, use diamonds, just like any girl....
you don't
You must show her that you have plenty of experience eating at the Y.
You don't. Simple as that. Your question is incredibly disgusting. You do not disrespect any woman's morals in anyway! It is better for you to break up with a woman than disrespect her personal beliefs on sex.
Take Tim's advice.
Tell her Jebus would have wanted it that way (then don't marry her...)
tell her god told you to have sex. Worked for bush when he said god told him to go to iraq
I doubt any girl even a Christian girl would want to sleep with you.....
you don't
Tell her that the Virgin Mary was an unwed mom. She was. She was betrothed to Joseph, but not married. Besides, you can have sex in many ways while still preserving her virginity. Oral sex is great fun, as is mutual masturbation.
Foreplay.
Get her drunk.
The blood of Christ. Lots of it!
be a really hot guy.
this question has plagued me for years
All couples go into a marriage saying, it could never happen to them but it does, why?
People always say, everything's perfect, they'll live happily ever after but according to US stats, about 50% get divorced. So why is everyone so confident? And why is that 1 in 2 get divorced?All couples go into a marriage saying, it could never happen to them but it does, why?
People don't take marriage as seriously these days.
Somewhere in the last 20-30 years, marriage became a goal point of sorts. Men and women started moving toward it like this thing they're just supposed to do. When you look at marriage that way, it's not going to stick. Marriage shouldn't be ';We've been together a while, it's time to make it official'; it should be ';I'm NEVER going to want another person, ever.'; If that's not your motive, and you haven't been together at LEAST a couple years... You probably aren't ready for that commitment.
We, as a society, encourage young marriage. Many couples get married in their early twenties. If you look through those statistics, they have a failure rate of near 100%. It doesn't work, but we encourage it. Somewhere along the lines we decided to encourage something that would fail... Brilliant. Go America! lol.
But really, it's because people don't care as much about marriage anymore. It's unfortunate, but it's true. There are some valid reasons for divorce, and I feel that I had a very strong one myself; but most folks just don't take it seriously and it causes problems down the road.
It's pretty sad, actually.All couples go into a marriage saying, it could never happen to them but it does, why?
Because at the beginning of a relationship it is exciting and new and more about lust and infatuation.
Marriage takes effort and work especially as the people involved change, grow, and mature.
And, stuff happens, like financial problems, children come along, there can be medical issues, etc. Stress is added and you either learn to work together through the stress or you tear each other apart because of it.
because these people are very naive going into this LIFELONG commitment known as marriage. Me and my husband got married young, i was only 22 and he was 21 ((no kids...we got married because we're in love)) and let me be the first to tell you its the hardest thing that we've ever gone through, and there we're times when we wanted to throw in the towel but marriage is a learning process and it should be learned together. Looking back on everything we've been through as husband and wife i couldn't imagine my life with anyone else.
That's simple, no one knows the future so why should you believe you will not have problems, ofcourse everyone has problems but they endure to be succesful. Another point is that we are humans, no one knows eachother perfectly well but untill you live together to know each other more and you would surely find something you don't like. So that's it.
Because people are not really prepared for a long term relationship or marriage.
While in love, they just believe things will work out. In the mean time there are a lot irritating little habits most men and women have. In addition, they both want certain things from a relationship, and these are not necessarily the same.
Sometimes the girl believes she can change the man after they are married. One of my Laws of Relationships says:
A Man Does Not Change for the Better After Marriage!
Relationships are hard work, and one must be prepared for it and know what to expect.
That is what my book is all about.
because people do change, you may fall head over heels with someone, and at that point in your life, you know with all your being that you two were meant to be together, Then as life goes on you change, and that person changes as well, you are not the person you where when you got married, that is when either divorce or cheating sets in. I personally think people should wait to get married, maybe late thirties, early forties, sometimes by that point you have lived, and kind of know who you really are and what you want. just my opinion. take care.
The pursuit of happiness. They do the same thing with land and cars. Once it gets old, something looks better, then it will be time to trade up and move on. Not that it brings happiness, but gratification, not unlike when you drive off the lot in the new car. Then a few months go by and the reality sets in, you paid a lot of money and/or you will be making payments for a long time.
People change over time and a lot of times what was once a good match isn't anymore. People only know how they feel right now, they don't know how they'll feel tomorrow.
Because some people are unwilling to try. It just becomes easier to walk away then to put in any effort.
because when reality hits marriage aint like tv or da movies it hard esp te first couple of years if theres no patience , love or intimicy or trust thats it ! we cry out divorce!!
because people are retards. next question.
People don't take marriage as seriously these days.
Somewhere in the last 20-30 years, marriage became a goal point of sorts. Men and women started moving toward it like this thing they're just supposed to do. When you look at marriage that way, it's not going to stick. Marriage shouldn't be ';We've been together a while, it's time to make it official'; it should be ';I'm NEVER going to want another person, ever.'; If that's not your motive, and you haven't been together at LEAST a couple years... You probably aren't ready for that commitment.
We, as a society, encourage young marriage. Many couples get married in their early twenties. If you look through those statistics, they have a failure rate of near 100%. It doesn't work, but we encourage it. Somewhere along the lines we decided to encourage something that would fail... Brilliant. Go America! lol.
But really, it's because people don't care as much about marriage anymore. It's unfortunate, but it's true. There are some valid reasons for divorce, and I feel that I had a very strong one myself; but most folks just don't take it seriously and it causes problems down the road.
It's pretty sad, actually.All couples go into a marriage saying, it could never happen to them but it does, why?
Because at the beginning of a relationship it is exciting and new and more about lust and infatuation.
Marriage takes effort and work especially as the people involved change, grow, and mature.
And, stuff happens, like financial problems, children come along, there can be medical issues, etc. Stress is added and you either learn to work together through the stress or you tear each other apart because of it.
because these people are very naive going into this LIFELONG commitment known as marriage. Me and my husband got married young, i was only 22 and he was 21 ((no kids...we got married because we're in love)) and let me be the first to tell you its the hardest thing that we've ever gone through, and there we're times when we wanted to throw in the towel but marriage is a learning process and it should be learned together. Looking back on everything we've been through as husband and wife i couldn't imagine my life with anyone else.
That's simple, no one knows the future so why should you believe you will not have problems, ofcourse everyone has problems but they endure to be succesful. Another point is that we are humans, no one knows eachother perfectly well but untill you live together to know each other more and you would surely find something you don't like. So that's it.
Because people are not really prepared for a long term relationship or marriage.
While in love, they just believe things will work out. In the mean time there are a lot irritating little habits most men and women have. In addition, they both want certain things from a relationship, and these are not necessarily the same.
Sometimes the girl believes she can change the man after they are married. One of my Laws of Relationships says:
A Man Does Not Change for the Better After Marriage!
Relationships are hard work, and one must be prepared for it and know what to expect.
That is what my book is all about.
because people do change, you may fall head over heels with someone, and at that point in your life, you know with all your being that you two were meant to be together, Then as life goes on you change, and that person changes as well, you are not the person you where when you got married, that is when either divorce or cheating sets in. I personally think people should wait to get married, maybe late thirties, early forties, sometimes by that point you have lived, and kind of know who you really are and what you want. just my opinion. take care.
The pursuit of happiness. They do the same thing with land and cars. Once it gets old, something looks better, then it will be time to trade up and move on. Not that it brings happiness, but gratification, not unlike when you drive off the lot in the new car. Then a few months go by and the reality sets in, you paid a lot of money and/or you will be making payments for a long time.
People change over time and a lot of times what was once a good match isn't anymore. People only know how they feel right now, they don't know how they'll feel tomorrow.
Because some people are unwilling to try. It just becomes easier to walk away then to put in any effort.
because when reality hits marriage aint like tv or da movies it hard esp te first couple of years if theres no patience , love or intimicy or trust thats it ! we cry out divorce!!
because people are retards. next question.
Have you ever consulted a Marriage Psychic?
One of you people who will respond to my post will meet a very mysterious man on Tuesday during the day. You will start an awkward conversation. But get his contact information. By the end of the year, you two will be serious. Your name is Joanne or Joanna. You live in the Midwest USA.Have you ever consulted a Marriage Psychic?
I think most of the people in this section need a good lawyer instead of a psychic.Have you ever consulted a Marriage Psychic?
Damn, has my slut step sister moved to the midwest?
Ah, JayJay, I lived in a trailer park when I got married and for five months after. We then lived in a trailer(not trailor park) for another five months. We have actually lived in houses for a total of a year in almost twenty three years. Yes that means I currently live in one. It is in what my best friends late husband called a glorified trailer park. I would love to have one of them thar snazy permanent sticks and bricks houses so's the tornado won't blow us to tarnation, but we've decided to dig a hole in the ground for the next one. It sure beats living in a house that is only four feet from each other. Our two acres and cracker box will be paid for in less than four years and it helped keep our chillens out of a lot of in town troubles. Now if only the idiot neighbors will stop using our last remaining cats as target practice we'd be so happy.
Love ya girl and you too Harry, but, I bet you already knew that.
I got my palm read the other night as a fluke. It was... eerie. And she (Madam Serena was her name) DID mention marriage! It was to tell me that my one, true love has already slipped past me and he is now happily married with 2 children, a German made car and a pricey mortgage.
Since I have missed out on said mate, I am now to be condemned to lifelong solitude.
I left thinking to myself ';Man, Madam Serena should have seen herself a better life. I mean, she's reading palms next to a public baseball park.';
Ha...We are from the south..so ol' grandma is the town psychic...if you end up in a trailer park home within the six months of marriage.. you can bet your azz it won't last..
She loved that saying.
Eddie PI if you were psychic you would admit already that you want to sleep with me!
No my name is not either of those. I think you need to see a psychiatrist before you hurt your self
I think most of the people in this section need a good lawyer instead of a psychic.Have you ever consulted a Marriage Psychic?
Damn, has my slut step sister moved to the midwest?
Ah, JayJay, I lived in a trailer park when I got married and for five months after. We then lived in a trailer(not trailor park) for another five months. We have actually lived in houses for a total of a year in almost twenty three years. Yes that means I currently live in one. It is in what my best friends late husband called a glorified trailer park. I would love to have one of them thar snazy permanent sticks and bricks houses so's the tornado won't blow us to tarnation, but we've decided to dig a hole in the ground for the next one. It sure beats living in a house that is only four feet from each other. Our two acres and cracker box will be paid for in less than four years and it helped keep our chillens out of a lot of in town troubles. Now if only the idiot neighbors will stop using our last remaining cats as target practice we'd be so happy.
Love ya girl and you too Harry, but, I bet you already knew that.
I got my palm read the other night as a fluke. It was... eerie. And she (Madam Serena was her name) DID mention marriage! It was to tell me that my one, true love has already slipped past me and he is now happily married with 2 children, a German made car and a pricey mortgage.
Since I have missed out on said mate, I am now to be condemned to lifelong solitude.
I left thinking to myself ';Man, Madam Serena should have seen herself a better life. I mean, she's reading palms next to a public baseball park.';
Ha...We are from the south..so ol' grandma is the town psychic...if you end up in a trailer park home within the six months of marriage.. you can bet your azz it won't last..
She loved that saying.
Eddie PI if you were psychic you would admit already that you want to sleep with me!
No my name is not either of those. I think you need to see a psychiatrist before you hurt your self
How can i improve my marriage?
i asked a ? earlier if my marriage can be saved some said yes and some said no to the ones that said yes i can, thank you, we had our so called pow wow and came to a common ground but now how do i improve it ,to change his feelings, he said we will give it time but still what do i do for that little extra umph?How can i improve my marriage?
Never leave your partner behind... Watch fireproof. %26lt;---pleaseeeeeHow can i improve my marriage?
i never read your first post so i don't know what the problem was but if your looking for ideas on how to make things special (or something like that) i have a few.
make dinner together. my husband and i do that every now and then and it's fun
do the little extras if you notice your husband is tired or having a bad day. such as a back rub on a bad day, letting him go to bed early and you doing what he usually would before he goes to bed (if he has a routine)
and maybe he will pick up and starting doing the same for you. today i got out of the shower and my husband had put his robe on the doorhand for me. last night i feel asleep and was too tired to shut the house down for the night my husband found me in the living room and had me go to bed and he shut the house down for me. they are little things but show you value/care about each other
You say he said you have lost what you had, so you need to work to get it back again. All is not lost. It could be way worse.
Get the e-book at http://www.bringbackthespark.com - it will give you suggestions on things to do to get you to a loving, warm relationship. It worked great for several couples we know.
Don't go out and try to change everything overnight - do it gradually. Enough so he knows and sees, you are trying though.
It sounds like you guys lost the spark which happens to many marriages - at least you are doing something about it. Good luck.
Do something nice for him everyday for a month (especially when you don't feel like it.) You will be surprised the power of change due to a good deed. However, do this because you want to, not because you expect anything in return. Remember that an expecation is just a pre-conceived resentment.
I would say spend quality time, %26amp; do fun things together and try not to fight over trival things as life is too short to be wasted over crap. Finally try to live each day like it is your last as one day it will be :-)
I just answered your first question; so check out my answer. I put in some tips that me and my husband use to get the spark back.
Good luck and don't give up.
Watch the movie fireproof.
Get really dirty in bed with him and don't be afraid to take one in the face!
Please him. That's what will make me happy.skin care cosmetics
Never leave your partner behind... Watch fireproof. %26lt;---pleaseeeeeHow can i improve my marriage?
i never read your first post so i don't know what the problem was but if your looking for ideas on how to make things special (or something like that) i have a few.
make dinner together. my husband and i do that every now and then and it's fun
do the little extras if you notice your husband is tired or having a bad day. such as a back rub on a bad day, letting him go to bed early and you doing what he usually would before he goes to bed (if he has a routine)
and maybe he will pick up and starting doing the same for you. today i got out of the shower and my husband had put his robe on the doorhand for me. last night i feel asleep and was too tired to shut the house down for the night my husband found me in the living room and had me go to bed and he shut the house down for me. they are little things but show you value/care about each other
You say he said you have lost what you had, so you need to work to get it back again. All is not lost. It could be way worse.
Get the e-book at http://www.bringbackthespark.com - it will give you suggestions on things to do to get you to a loving, warm relationship. It worked great for several couples we know.
Don't go out and try to change everything overnight - do it gradually. Enough so he knows and sees, you are trying though.
It sounds like you guys lost the spark which happens to many marriages - at least you are doing something about it. Good luck.
Do something nice for him everyday for a month (especially when you don't feel like it.) You will be surprised the power of change due to a good deed. However, do this because you want to, not because you expect anything in return. Remember that an expecation is just a pre-conceived resentment.
I would say spend quality time, %26amp; do fun things together and try not to fight over trival things as life is too short to be wasted over crap. Finally try to live each day like it is your last as one day it will be :-)
I just answered your first question; so check out my answer. I put in some tips that me and my husband use to get the spark back.
Good luck and don't give up.
Watch the movie fireproof.
Get really dirty in bed with him and don't be afraid to take one in the face!
Please him. That's what will make me happy.
How do you keep a marriage going?
I have been married for 11 years now, and at times it has been rough. I am committed to making it work, but I just want to know... how do you get through it when you feel totally sick of eachother and you just annoy eachother... like it was today.
Any advice on how to keep a marriage from becoming more like a state of constant hell...How do you keep a marriage going?
Get a boyfriend on the side. Works every time.How do you keep a marriage going?
All marriages wane and wax. Remember when you said ';For Better or For Worse';.
Well, this is the Worse part.
The good news is it fades with some fairly easy steps.
1. Feircely love: It's not hard to love someone when life is great, there is money in the bank, the kids are quiet, he's just got a promotion, and you've lost ten pounds. Love is easy when life is good.
But Fierce Love is when life stinks...and your love overcomes all obsticles. When he's out of a job, when there are bills piling up, when the kids are in trouble, when the house is a mess, when the in-laws are a pain, when you're exhausted, when you're fustraited and tired and he's drinking from the damn carton again and you just want to strangle him.....to walk across the room and give him a big hug and tell him how lucky you are is Fierce Love.
And the more you give it...the more you'll feel it. Love is like a big mud fight....you can't throw Love without getting it all over yourself too.
Learn to respond to your anger, your exasperation, and your depression with signs of love.
Ever notice how fiercely little children love their parents? They don't respond with sarcastic comments and storm out of the room. When they're upset (even with you) they lift their little arms up and invite you in for a hug. They put their heads down on your lap.
And that's how you should be.
2. Recognize your power: Men and women are not the same. In fact, in many ways, they are complete complimentary opposites.
Men tend to be dominant and aggressive in all things physical. Ever notice how men respond to difficult emotional situations?
They get dominant and physical.
Ever notice how women respond to difficult physical situations?
They respond emotionally. That's because women are dominant emotially in the relationship.
As the emotionally dominant one....how do you think the emotional state of the relationship is going to be if you decide to be angry, fustraited, or upset about something?
Naturally, the relationship will turn in a negative direction.
Unfortunately, men will try to turn it around with all sorts of physical solutions. And very rarely will they succeed.
Why?
Because your problem consists of an emotional situation, and you are the one best equipped to solve it.
If you're angry about him breaking a plate....will his solution of buying a new one get him off the hook? Well, it replaces the plate...but if you're still angry with him (maybe he was juggling them), the problem isn't solved.
It'll only be solved when YOU either a) decide this argument is worth bringing up and having a long discussion about (if it's important) or b) just dropping it and realizing that it's just not worth the anger.
And, of course, the marriage will only be as happy as you want it to be. You are the emotional leader of the house. If you aren't happy, he won't be happy, and the kids won't be happy. Everyone unhappy.
If you want to be happy, ACT HAPPY! The husband will mirror your happiness, reassuring and colsoling the children.
This is your power as a mother, a wife, and a woman.
3. Give to receive: You know what Prince Charming smelled like? He wore armor constantly. He probably smelled like an old penny most of the time.
However, he was brave and heroic and courageous and fearless because his damsel in distress always exclaimed ';My Hero!'; whenever he slayed a dragon.
Guess what...men aren't perfect. We know this. You know this. But most men WANT to be their wives' Prince Charming.
Now...how long will Prince Charming rescue some maiden if she constantly nags him about the smell of his armor?
Not very long. And who could blame him?
So if you want your husband to change for the better, you must reinforce him POSTIVELY.
Compliment him. Touch him. Feed him. Build him up. Encourage him. Celebrate with him. And when he's alone and sad....be a friend to him, his cheerleader, his admirer, his secret lover, and forgive him for his faults.
You'll soon have a man who will fall on his sword rather than disappoint you.
Good Luck!
Try instead of looking at the bad look for the good. Start doing special things for one another again only this time do not stop. Give him compliments and he should return the favor. I have been with my husband for 10 years and still love him to death. Yes it has its ups and downs but both of us learn how to forgive each other when there is bad days and we start all over from scratch.
1. Communication is KEY.
2. Laughter, jokes, smiles
3. The Golden Rule
4. Good homemade food, healthy food, junk food occasionally
5. Openness
6. Get-aways, vacations
7. Goals for the relationship
8. Make sweet gentle love, make passionate fury love
9. Compliments
10. Love
It takes two! Yes, it's cliche but, its true. Do your best and encourage your spouse to do the same, keep yourself up beat and positive. Give 110% of yourself in attention, affection, sex and love.
Gina is ABSOLUTELY right. Get a guy on the side. Best sex you'll ever have and your husband will walk around all day wondering why you look so relaxed ... and how you got a hicky there.
Have you tried counselling?
I'll wait for a while. And if he continues then bye bye.
Any advice on how to keep a marriage from becoming more like a state of constant hell...How do you keep a marriage going?
Get a boyfriend on the side. Works every time.How do you keep a marriage going?
All marriages wane and wax. Remember when you said ';For Better or For Worse';.
Well, this is the Worse part.
The good news is it fades with some fairly easy steps.
1. Feircely love: It's not hard to love someone when life is great, there is money in the bank, the kids are quiet, he's just got a promotion, and you've lost ten pounds. Love is easy when life is good.
But Fierce Love is when life stinks...and your love overcomes all obsticles. When he's out of a job, when there are bills piling up, when the kids are in trouble, when the house is a mess, when the in-laws are a pain, when you're exhausted, when you're fustraited and tired and he's drinking from the damn carton again and you just want to strangle him.....to walk across the room and give him a big hug and tell him how lucky you are is Fierce Love.
And the more you give it...the more you'll feel it. Love is like a big mud fight....you can't throw Love without getting it all over yourself too.
Learn to respond to your anger, your exasperation, and your depression with signs of love.
Ever notice how fiercely little children love their parents? They don't respond with sarcastic comments and storm out of the room. When they're upset (even with you) they lift their little arms up and invite you in for a hug. They put their heads down on your lap.
And that's how you should be.
2. Recognize your power: Men and women are not the same. In fact, in many ways, they are complete complimentary opposites.
Men tend to be dominant and aggressive in all things physical. Ever notice how men respond to difficult emotional situations?
They get dominant and physical.
Ever notice how women respond to difficult physical situations?
They respond emotionally. That's because women are dominant emotially in the relationship.
As the emotionally dominant one....how do you think the emotional state of the relationship is going to be if you decide to be angry, fustraited, or upset about something?
Naturally, the relationship will turn in a negative direction.
Unfortunately, men will try to turn it around with all sorts of physical solutions. And very rarely will they succeed.
Why?
Because your problem consists of an emotional situation, and you are the one best equipped to solve it.
If you're angry about him breaking a plate....will his solution of buying a new one get him off the hook? Well, it replaces the plate...but if you're still angry with him (maybe he was juggling them), the problem isn't solved.
It'll only be solved when YOU either a) decide this argument is worth bringing up and having a long discussion about (if it's important) or b) just dropping it and realizing that it's just not worth the anger.
And, of course, the marriage will only be as happy as you want it to be. You are the emotional leader of the house. If you aren't happy, he won't be happy, and the kids won't be happy. Everyone unhappy.
If you want to be happy, ACT HAPPY! The husband will mirror your happiness, reassuring and colsoling the children.
This is your power as a mother, a wife, and a woman.
3. Give to receive: You know what Prince Charming smelled like? He wore armor constantly. He probably smelled like an old penny most of the time.
However, he was brave and heroic and courageous and fearless because his damsel in distress always exclaimed ';My Hero!'; whenever he slayed a dragon.
Guess what...men aren't perfect. We know this. You know this. But most men WANT to be their wives' Prince Charming.
Now...how long will Prince Charming rescue some maiden if she constantly nags him about the smell of his armor?
Not very long. And who could blame him?
So if you want your husband to change for the better, you must reinforce him POSTIVELY.
Compliment him. Touch him. Feed him. Build him up. Encourage him. Celebrate with him. And when he's alone and sad....be a friend to him, his cheerleader, his admirer, his secret lover, and forgive him for his faults.
You'll soon have a man who will fall on his sword rather than disappoint you.
Good Luck!
Try instead of looking at the bad look for the good. Start doing special things for one another again only this time do not stop. Give him compliments and he should return the favor. I have been with my husband for 10 years and still love him to death. Yes it has its ups and downs but both of us learn how to forgive each other when there is bad days and we start all over from scratch.
1. Communication is KEY.
2. Laughter, jokes, smiles
3. The Golden Rule
4. Good homemade food, healthy food, junk food occasionally
5. Openness
6. Get-aways, vacations
7. Goals for the relationship
8. Make sweet gentle love, make passionate fury love
9. Compliments
10. Love
It takes two! Yes, it's cliche but, its true. Do your best and encourage your spouse to do the same, keep yourself up beat and positive. Give 110% of yourself in attention, affection, sex and love.
Gina is ABSOLUTELY right. Get a guy on the side. Best sex you'll ever have and your husband will walk around all day wondering why you look so relaxed ... and how you got a hicky there.
Have you tried counselling?
I'll wait for a while. And if he continues then bye bye.
Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Is that why I feel restless and bored?Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
marriages cause ruts, lifes gets dull and boring as hell once married, dont mean you dont love the person its just that life doesnt seem exciting anymore, then again all my single buddies hate being single. I think the worlds just messed up.Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Never been married but i'm in a long term relationship.yrs at times i feel that way,it's natural you just can't live life day to day and expect to be all in love constantly.
What's that expression 'familiarity breeds contempt' for example or 'you hurt those closest to you',
Basically when you live with the same person there are times when you get fed up at the site of them,those things they say annoy you and you feel bored maybe,restless or trapped by it possibly.
That's life I'm afraid,it's ups and downs,,you can accept that and savour all the good times and grit your teeth,just get through the bad times or you can give up cos it aint going so well.
Up to you !!
You call it a rut, and I call it comfort, and familiarity. These are positive things. Marriage doesn't need excitement, to be good. Relax and enjoy a nice life. My ex wife watched soaps, and identified with the characters, to the point that she felt it was abnormal to NOT have an emotional crisis every 15 minutes or so. So she set about creating one. Who needs it. Give me that rut. It's worked for current wife and me for last 28 years. If you are restless and bored, get out and do something constructive. Your local school could use a volunteer, kids need tutors, Walk up and down your street picking up trash and greet and talk to your neighbors. Get into a fitness program. Try competitive athletics.
Perhaps you need a child. : )
HOW TO RAISE A CHILD
When male and female join together,
enter into the true marriage,
the union that is truly one flesh,
a beautiful child is conceived,
not physical but spiritual in nature,
this child conceived in love,
must be fed accordingly,
and the child will grow,
to fill the universe and beyond,
a very strange thing happens,
when the child reaches maturity,
it is seen that she is female,
and this child of love,
becomes our Mother,
we have come full circle children,
so rejoice at our good fortune,
and don't forget to love.
when i felt in a rut i left that loser who put me there and since that i never felt like that anymore. first i enjoyed single life for a while - dating and travelling and meeting new people (men mostly). and i decided never getting married again, staying single and dating and having fun ( i already had 3 kids). but then i met my prince and we got together after a while and since that i have never been happier. no, my second marriage never felt in a rut and i like being married
My marriage has always been in a rut and it's probably lasted longer than you are old. But, there's no escaping it. I wish there was, but there isn't...
Well, looking at your profile page, I realize it hasn't lasted THAT long. However, it has been more than 27 1/2 years, now...
Shouldn't it be, ';anyone out there feel like their marriage isn't in a rut?';
Hehehe. Just my two cents. On a daily basis we have to decide to stay married (or not!). It's not really about feelings sometimes, unfortunately...
Although maybe it should be?
Marriage is not always going to be action-packed. There are ups, downs, ins, and outs. Only the strong survive. TRY to find things to spice up your love life or find a hobby and try to implement it in your marriage. Be creative...theres tons of things to get the party going again!
Yes, my marriage is in a rut. However, after the drama and trauma of raising children, selling a house in WIsconsin and buying one in Florida, looking for new jobs, etc., I LIKE my comfortable little rut.
sometimes, marriage seem to be at a stand still. Not really going anywhere and the future seems bleak. I can't really help you with this seeing as how I'm currently at that place. So, maybe someone can give us some advice.
Maybe you just need to find something outside of the house that you like to do, like a new hobby or maybe you need to spice it up in the bedroom
it sounds like him being gone is taking its tow on you. You ever need to chat i am online at night.
marriages cause ruts, lifes gets dull and boring as hell once married, dont mean you dont love the person its just that life doesnt seem exciting anymore, then again all my single buddies hate being single. I think the worlds just messed up.Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Never been married but i'm in a long term relationship.yrs at times i feel that way,it's natural you just can't live life day to day and expect to be all in love constantly.
What's that expression 'familiarity breeds contempt' for example or 'you hurt those closest to you',
Basically when you live with the same person there are times when you get fed up at the site of them,those things they say annoy you and you feel bored maybe,restless or trapped by it possibly.
That's life I'm afraid,it's ups and downs,,you can accept that and savour all the good times and grit your teeth,just get through the bad times or you can give up cos it aint going so well.
Up to you !!
You call it a rut, and I call it comfort, and familiarity. These are positive things. Marriage doesn't need excitement, to be good. Relax and enjoy a nice life. My ex wife watched soaps, and identified with the characters, to the point that she felt it was abnormal to NOT have an emotional crisis every 15 minutes or so. So she set about creating one. Who needs it. Give me that rut. It's worked for current wife and me for last 28 years. If you are restless and bored, get out and do something constructive. Your local school could use a volunteer, kids need tutors, Walk up and down your street picking up trash and greet and talk to your neighbors. Get into a fitness program. Try competitive athletics.
Perhaps you need a child. : )
HOW TO RAISE A CHILD
When male and female join together,
enter into the true marriage,
the union that is truly one flesh,
a beautiful child is conceived,
not physical but spiritual in nature,
this child conceived in love,
must be fed accordingly,
and the child will grow,
to fill the universe and beyond,
a very strange thing happens,
when the child reaches maturity,
it is seen that she is female,
and this child of love,
becomes our Mother,
we have come full circle children,
so rejoice at our good fortune,
and don't forget to love.
when i felt in a rut i left that loser who put me there and since that i never felt like that anymore. first i enjoyed single life for a while - dating and travelling and meeting new people (men mostly). and i decided never getting married again, staying single and dating and having fun ( i already had 3 kids). but then i met my prince and we got together after a while and since that i have never been happier. no, my second marriage never felt in a rut and i like being married
My marriage has always been in a rut and it's probably lasted longer than you are old. But, there's no escaping it. I wish there was, but there isn't...
Well, looking at your profile page, I realize it hasn't lasted THAT long. However, it has been more than 27 1/2 years, now...
Shouldn't it be, ';anyone out there feel like their marriage isn't in a rut?';
Hehehe. Just my two cents. On a daily basis we have to decide to stay married (or not!). It's not really about feelings sometimes, unfortunately...
Although maybe it should be?
Marriage is not always going to be action-packed. There are ups, downs, ins, and outs. Only the strong survive. TRY to find things to spice up your love life or find a hobby and try to implement it in your marriage. Be creative...theres tons of things to get the party going again!
Yes, my marriage is in a rut. However, after the drama and trauma of raising children, selling a house in WIsconsin and buying one in Florida, looking for new jobs, etc., I LIKE my comfortable little rut.
sometimes, marriage seem to be at a stand still. Not really going anywhere and the future seems bleak. I can't really help you with this seeing as how I'm currently at that place. So, maybe someone can give us some advice.
Maybe you just need to find something outside of the house that you like to do, like a new hobby or maybe you need to spice it up in the bedroom
it sounds like him being gone is taking its tow on you. You ever need to chat i am online at night.
When do you know a marriage is truly over?
My husband and I have been fighting really bad. I have said things that I don't even think I could bring myself to repeat. I was really angry at him at the moment. I just think we should work things out, but I, also think things have went to far.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
When you look at the other person and feel Truly vacant devoid of any positive regard or appreciation. When you bring out the worst in each other to the point that the only humane loving thin to do is to leave each other. I have had a similar time recently with my wife and many nasty things were said. My psychology professor (female) said,'; that while we are under the impression that men are more violent in truth women are actually verbally and mentally as violent if not more.'; When all the storms subside I still find affection/love for her but not forgiveness and of course we will be attending counseling soon. I agree with the others I do not think your done, maybe done fighting and or relating within power struggles that prompt you to resort to such behaviors, but not done. Your asking. When I am done I would not even be asking I'd be making plans to cover my asset's and head out the door.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
Take a vacation from each other. Get apart and give time to miss each other. Also ask each other for forgiveness and to start over again. And always remember one thing...
There will never be a marriage without a fight. But the point of a fight is to put your points across. Express your emotions, anger and frustrations to the other person. THE INTEND IS NEVER TO HURT THE OTHER PERSON. A spouse is the only person who would possibly know all the shortcomings of the other. So that makes him the only person who could possibly hurt the other to the most. But its the duty of the other half to complement his or her shortcomings and complete him or her. Not to pick the other person on that and hurt him or her.
Buy 'Men are from mars women are from venus' and 'Why mars and venus collide' by Dr. John Grey (Ph.D) He is the foremost researcher in the field of male female personal relationships and these books are gems. I assure you will be a better person after you read this book during your vacations from each other.
Hope this helped.
You have to make a consience desision to end the marriage. If your willing you can work through any prob.
I think by your question that you really know the answer.
You need to work at a marriage - both ot you - but this
sounds more long-term, otherwise you would not be
on the net with this question.
If you both think you should work things out.. then that marriage isn't over... yet. Nothing is irreconcilable when both partners want to reconcile.
In answer to you actual question Darling. Your marriage is not over till DEATH DO YOU PART. So your safe there.
Doesn't sound like it is over to me yet. Work it out.
When you look at the other person and feel Truly vacant devoid of any positive regard or appreciation. When you bring out the worst in each other to the point that the only humane loving thin to do is to leave each other. I have had a similar time recently with my wife and many nasty things were said. My psychology professor (female) said,'; that while we are under the impression that men are more violent in truth women are actually verbally and mentally as violent if not more.'; When all the storms subside I still find affection/love for her but not forgiveness and of course we will be attending counseling soon. I agree with the others I do not think your done, maybe done fighting and or relating within power struggles that prompt you to resort to such behaviors, but not done. Your asking. When I am done I would not even be asking I'd be making plans to cover my asset's and head out the door.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
Take a vacation from each other. Get apart and give time to miss each other. Also ask each other for forgiveness and to start over again. And always remember one thing...
There will never be a marriage without a fight. But the point of a fight is to put your points across. Express your emotions, anger and frustrations to the other person. THE INTEND IS NEVER TO HURT THE OTHER PERSON. A spouse is the only person who would possibly know all the shortcomings of the other. So that makes him the only person who could possibly hurt the other to the most. But its the duty of the other half to complement his or her shortcomings and complete him or her. Not to pick the other person on that and hurt him or her.
Buy 'Men are from mars women are from venus' and 'Why mars and venus collide' by Dr. John Grey (Ph.D) He is the foremost researcher in the field of male female personal relationships and these books are gems. I assure you will be a better person after you read this book during your vacations from each other.
Hope this helped.
You have to make a consience desision to end the marriage. If your willing you can work through any prob.
I think by your question that you really know the answer.
You need to work at a marriage - both ot you - but this
sounds more long-term, otherwise you would not be
on the net with this question.
If you both think you should work things out.. then that marriage isn't over... yet. Nothing is irreconcilable when both partners want to reconcile.
In answer to you actual question Darling. Your marriage is not over till DEATH DO YOU PART. So your safe there.
Doesn't sound like it is over to me yet. Work it out.
What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Commitment. Both have to give it 100% and expect to receive fifty percent in return. Sometimes you get more than you give and sometimes you give more than you get.
Sharing. EVERYTHING. His or her problems are your problems too. You have to help each other in everything as much as you are capable.
Sounding Board. Listen, listen, listen. Offer the best help you can offer.
Understanding of the other persons thoughts, feelings, limitations.
Sympathy.
Empathy.
Kindness.
You have to put up with a lot, no matter how much you care for the person, theres gonna be times when you think you have made a mistake in marrying him or her. But if you are both really trying to make it work...stick with it. If one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking, its time to look at the situation a lot more closely and talk serioulsly about some changes that need to be made, or it will end in divorce.
If you marry the wrong person, it can be HELL. The word Hell does not really describe a bad marriage well enough. I have never been so miserable than I was in my first marriage. I was too young and so was she. I was twenty one, she was eighteen. We stayed married almost ten years and did every dirty thing we could think of to each other except kill each other or physically abuse each other.
WE should have quit within the first year. We didn't because we had a baby and wanted the marriage to work for the baby....BAD...BAD...mistake.
Both people have to work at it at the same time....that never happened between the two of us. By the end of the third year of marriage to this person, I hated her as much as I thought I loved her when we were first married.
Get to know the person, really, really, really well...even then you wont know them as well as you'll know them after one year of marriage.What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
For mine, both marriages (to the same guy), disappointing, hurtful, disrespectful, mistakes, selfishness, unloving, drugs, alcohol, unfaithfulness, oh I could go on. Those were all my words about him, sad to say but true :(What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Lifelong friendship. Commitment. Partnership. Work in progress. Difficult. Challenging. Comforting. Roller coaster ride. The most important thing in my life. Evolving. Perseverance. Better than being single at 39, like my friends. Raising decent children. Really feeling at home.
I've been married three times. Do I get three words, one for each marriage? If so, they'd be
Immature
Unstable
Finally!
If I only get one word to describe my overall experience, it'd be
Uncertainty
Compromise, commitment and sharing. And putting your spouse and family before yourself at least some of the time, the more the better.
Fun, hard, frustrating, rewarding, loving, happiness
Horror, torment, uncertainty, hatred, pain without end.
Full of surprises!
It's been delightfully challenging ...
...feels like a jail bird serving life....but it's the only prison i don't mind doing double life, as time..... after committing this heinous crime that we call falling in love!
a family reunion
Distant. Just... distant.
Biggest mistake ever.
Disappointing.
thought i have found the one. now i feel crushed that its over.
but how can you live with someone when it feels so wrong
MEANNESS!... OVER!!
Sacrafice, sharing and commitment.
Even on days I want to kill him.
Disaster in the worst way.
different
Living hell
Hard hard and harder.
Gosh! I'm tired!
The end of an era! But at least I get my washing done....
I been married now three times so I would say I been around the block
work
pure hell.........................
a war to end all wars
Sharing. EVERYTHING. His or her problems are your problems too. You have to help each other in everything as much as you are capable.
Sounding Board. Listen, listen, listen. Offer the best help you can offer.
Understanding of the other persons thoughts, feelings, limitations.
Sympathy.
Empathy.
Kindness.
You have to put up with a lot, no matter how much you care for the person, theres gonna be times when you think you have made a mistake in marrying him or her. But if you are both really trying to make it work...stick with it. If one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking, its time to look at the situation a lot more closely and talk serioulsly about some changes that need to be made, or it will end in divorce.
If you marry the wrong person, it can be HELL. The word Hell does not really describe a bad marriage well enough. I have never been so miserable than I was in my first marriage. I was too young and so was she. I was twenty one, she was eighteen. We stayed married almost ten years and did every dirty thing we could think of to each other except kill each other or physically abuse each other.
WE should have quit within the first year. We didn't because we had a baby and wanted the marriage to work for the baby....BAD...BAD...mistake.
Both people have to work at it at the same time....that never happened between the two of us. By the end of the third year of marriage to this person, I hated her as much as I thought I loved her when we were first married.
Get to know the person, really, really, really well...even then you wont know them as well as you'll know them after one year of marriage.What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
For mine, both marriages (to the same guy), disappointing, hurtful, disrespectful, mistakes, selfishness, unloving, drugs, alcohol, unfaithfulness, oh I could go on. Those were all my words about him, sad to say but true :(What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Lifelong friendship. Commitment. Partnership. Work in progress. Difficult. Challenging. Comforting. Roller coaster ride. The most important thing in my life. Evolving. Perseverance. Better than being single at 39, like my friends. Raising decent children. Really feeling at home.
I've been married three times. Do I get three words, one for each marriage? If so, they'd be
Immature
Unstable
Finally!
If I only get one word to describe my overall experience, it'd be
Uncertainty
Compromise, commitment and sharing. And putting your spouse and family before yourself at least some of the time, the more the better.
Fun, hard, frustrating, rewarding, loving, happiness
Horror, torment, uncertainty, hatred, pain without end.
Full of surprises!
It's been delightfully challenging ...
...feels like a jail bird serving life....but it's the only prison i don't mind doing double life, as time..... after committing this heinous crime that we call falling in love!
a family reunion
Distant. Just... distant.
Biggest mistake ever.
Disappointing.
thought i have found the one. now i feel crushed that its over.
but how can you live with someone when it feels so wrong
MEANNESS!... OVER!!
Sacrafice, sharing and commitment.
Even on days I want to kill him.
Disaster in the worst way.
different
Living hell
Hard hard and harder.
Gosh! I'm tired!
The end of an era! But at least I get my washing done....
I been married now three times so I would say I been around the block
work
pure hell.........................
a war to end all wars
Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
I've now met two women who homeschool their kids, who tell me they feel that they and their spouse should choose their future children's spouse. They feel that they are in the best situation to know what is best for their children.
It seems like these parents are trying to control even what happens to them as adults and not allow their children to have the right to make any decisions for themselves.
What do you think about this?Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
We home-school and have heard a number of folks say the same thing.
Some folks are likely trying to influence and control their kids lives. I will also say that I know one married couple who were arranged, if you will, and now are doing the same with their kids.
I won't even attempt it. I remember my mom always trying to set me up with this gal and that gal - I still shiver thinking about it. Not that this gal and that gal weren't everything my mom said that they were, but the idea that my mom would set me up was just too revolting for some reason. With this in mind, I'd never do this to my kids.
I don't agree with other parents doing this either, but will defend those folks who have come from communities which have heavily influenced their children's spouses over the years - although I don't agree with them either.
-------------
Edit: I followed Bobby Bonsai over here - how you doin Bobby? Happy New Year everybody!Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
Little children should not marry....LOL
Seriously,instead of choosing a suitable future mate for their child,a responsible parent should rather concentrate on teaching the child, ';how';.. to choose.
(((sEaRcHeR)))) (((Super Bobo))
Wow. I homeschooled for 3 years because of my hubby's job but never felt that way. I could barely tell them what TV shows they were allowed to watch. :-)
Are you kidding!! What era and culture do these people think they live in!
i feel so sorry for kids whose parents wrap them in cotton wool and provide them with no opportunities to learn lifes lesson on their own terms.
I think that is nuts
I know some people homeschool very well.. but I also know some who dont..
I recently watched a TV show called JESUS CAMP.. it was scarey - they showed kids being brainwashed for Churh Purposes and showed the statistic that 75% of homeschooled kids in USA are Evangelical Christians.. and showed a clip of a mom ';homeschooling'; her son.. it was hillarious (sad).. I was in shock at what she was teaching him...
at one point they discussed ';Global Warming and pollution'; and mom said they dont need to worry about it because Jesus is coming to save every one soon so it wont matter...
my eyes nearly popped out.. and now you are saying they want to arrange their kids marriage...
omg talk about control freaks!!! these kids are so sheltered from the world and now that?? and their parents are the only authoritity figures they know..
disgusting!
OMG! I really have no idea why some parents are so controlling. I certainly would not have wanted my parents to pick my mate. I met some of the ';nice boys'; my mother tried to push on me as it was! Yuck and double Yuck!
I don't feel that a parent should ever choose the life partner their child will be living with. I know in a lot of cultures it is tradition, but I believe firmly that every person has the right to choose the person they love.
I think that this is a made up question. I am a home schooled teen, who is now in college. I have met thousands of other home schooling families from across the nation and never once heard of this before. it was very common 2000+ years ago, but not at all today, unless you live in some 3rd world country.
well, in some cultures that is a tradition. to each his own I guess...that would not have worked for me and it probably doesn't work for everyone.
A child should be allowed to to choose it's wife or husband in life it's their right
I think not that is just to controlling and the kids got to be able to fly on their own two feet, and how will the kids make their own decisions their parents make all the decisions from what outfits to their spouse will make very dependent kids. or they will freak out of control when they are free
We homeschool and with the hundreds (I do mean hundreds -I work at the local convention) of homeschool families I've met, I've never met any that want to pick their children's spouses.
No. The decision should be left up to their child. In the end more then likely the child once old enough to leave the house at the age of 18 will probably try to get as far away as possible and never want to have anything to do with their parents if they are that controlling.
i know you are asking homeschool parents but i was homeschooled and i know my mom would like to pick my partner but my dad only wants to see me happy, however its alittle difficult now since i'm with child. i believe that they feel that since they homeschooled their kids, the kids wouldn't be able to make an ';educated'; decision concerning thier spouse and that they are parents would be able to make a better decision (alittle old fastioned but alot of religions in the US still do this today)
That ain't right!
It seems like these parents are trying to control even what happens to them as adults and not allow their children to have the right to make any decisions for themselves.
What do you think about this?Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
We home-school and have heard a number of folks say the same thing.
Some folks are likely trying to influence and control their kids lives. I will also say that I know one married couple who were arranged, if you will, and now are doing the same with their kids.
I won't even attempt it. I remember my mom always trying to set me up with this gal and that gal - I still shiver thinking about it. Not that this gal and that gal weren't everything my mom said that they were, but the idea that my mom would set me up was just too revolting for some reason. With this in mind, I'd never do this to my kids.
I don't agree with other parents doing this either, but will defend those folks who have come from communities which have heavily influenced their children's spouses over the years - although I don't agree with them either.
-------------
Edit: I followed Bobby Bonsai over here - how you doin Bobby? Happy New Year everybody!Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
Little children should not marry....LOL
Seriously,instead of choosing a suitable future mate for their child,a responsible parent should rather concentrate on teaching the child, ';how';.. to choose.
(((sEaRcHeR)))) (((Super Bobo))
Wow. I homeschooled for 3 years because of my hubby's job but never felt that way. I could barely tell them what TV shows they were allowed to watch. :-)
Are you kidding!! What era and culture do these people think they live in!
i feel so sorry for kids whose parents wrap them in cotton wool and provide them with no opportunities to learn lifes lesson on their own terms.
I think that is nuts
I know some people homeschool very well.. but I also know some who dont..
I recently watched a TV show called JESUS CAMP.. it was scarey - they showed kids being brainwashed for Churh Purposes and showed the statistic that 75% of homeschooled kids in USA are Evangelical Christians.. and showed a clip of a mom ';homeschooling'; her son.. it was hillarious (sad).. I was in shock at what she was teaching him...
at one point they discussed ';Global Warming and pollution'; and mom said they dont need to worry about it because Jesus is coming to save every one soon so it wont matter...
my eyes nearly popped out.. and now you are saying they want to arrange their kids marriage...
omg talk about control freaks!!! these kids are so sheltered from the world and now that?? and their parents are the only authoritity figures they know..
disgusting!
OMG! I really have no idea why some parents are so controlling. I certainly would not have wanted my parents to pick my mate. I met some of the ';nice boys'; my mother tried to push on me as it was! Yuck and double Yuck!
I don't feel that a parent should ever choose the life partner their child will be living with. I know in a lot of cultures it is tradition, but I believe firmly that every person has the right to choose the person they love.
I think that this is a made up question. I am a home schooled teen, who is now in college. I have met thousands of other home schooling families from across the nation and never once heard of this before. it was very common 2000+ years ago, but not at all today, unless you live in some 3rd world country.
well, in some cultures that is a tradition. to each his own I guess...that would not have worked for me and it probably doesn't work for everyone.
A child should be allowed to to choose it's wife or husband in life it's their right
I think not that is just to controlling and the kids got to be able to fly on their own two feet, and how will the kids make their own decisions their parents make all the decisions from what outfits to their spouse will make very dependent kids. or they will freak out of control when they are free
We homeschool and with the hundreds (I do mean hundreds -I work at the local convention) of homeschool families I've met, I've never met any that want to pick their children's spouses.
No. The decision should be left up to their child. In the end more then likely the child once old enough to leave the house at the age of 18 will probably try to get as far away as possible and never want to have anything to do with their parents if they are that controlling.
i know you are asking homeschool parents but i was homeschooled and i know my mom would like to pick my partner but my dad only wants to see me happy, however its alittle difficult now since i'm with child. i believe that they feel that since they homeschooled their kids, the kids wouldn't be able to make an ';educated'; decision concerning thier spouse and that they are parents would be able to make a better decision (alittle old fastioned but alot of religions in the US still do this today)
That ain't right!
How do you keep a marriage going?
I have been married for 11 years now, and at times it has been rough. I am committed to making it work, but I just want to know... how do you get through it when you feel totally sick of eachother and you just annoy eachother... like it was today.
Any advice on how to keep a marriage from becoming more like a state of constant hell...How do you keep a marriage going?
Get a boyfriend on the side. Works every time.How do you keep a marriage going?
All marriages wane and wax. Remember when you said ';For Better or For Worse';.
Well, this is the Worse part.
The good news is it fades with some fairly easy steps.
1. Feircely love: It's not hard to love someone when life is great, there is money in the bank, the kids are quiet, he's just got a promotion, and you've lost ten pounds. Love is easy when life is good.
But Fierce Love is when life stinks...and your love overcomes all obsticles. When he's out of a job, when there are bills piling up, when the kids are in trouble, when the house is a mess, when the in-laws are a pain, when you're exhausted, when you're fustraited and tired and he's drinking from the damn carton again and you just want to strangle him.....to walk across the room and give him a big hug and tell him how lucky you are is Fierce Love.
And the more you give it...the more you'll feel it. Love is like a big mud fight....you can't throw Love without getting it all over yourself too.
Learn to respond to your anger, your exasperation, and your depression with signs of love.
Ever notice how fiercely little children love their parents? They don't respond with sarcastic comments and storm out of the room. When they're upset (even with you) they lift their little arms up and invite you in for a hug. They put their heads down on your lap.
And that's how you should be.
2. Recognize your power: Men and women are not the same. In fact, in many ways, they are complete complimentary opposites.
Men tend to be dominant and aggressive in all things physical. Ever notice how men respond to difficult emotional situations?
They get dominant and physical.
Ever notice how women respond to difficult physical situations?
They respond emotionally. That's because women are dominant emotially in the relationship.
As the emotionally dominant one....how do you think the emotional state of the relationship is going to be if you decide to be angry, fustraited, or upset about something?
Naturally, the relationship will turn in a negative direction.
Unfortunately, men will try to turn it around with all sorts of physical solutions. And very rarely will they succeed.
Why?
Because your problem consists of an emotional situation, and you are the one best equipped to solve it.
If you're angry about him breaking a plate....will his solution of buying a new one get him off the hook? Well, it replaces the plate...but if you're still angry with him (maybe he was juggling them), the problem isn't solved.
It'll only be solved when YOU either a) decide this argument is worth bringing up and having a long discussion about (if it's important) or b) just dropping it and realizing that it's just not worth the anger.
And, of course, the marriage will only be as happy as you want it to be. You are the emotional leader of the house. If you aren't happy, he won't be happy, and the kids won't be happy. Everyone unhappy.
If you want to be happy, ACT HAPPY! The husband will mirror your happiness, reassuring and colsoling the children.
This is your power as a mother, a wife, and a woman.
3. Give to receive: You know what Prince Charming smelled like? He wore armor constantly. He probably smelled like an old penny most of the time.
However, he was brave and heroic and courageous and fearless because his damsel in distress always exclaimed ';My Hero!'; whenever he slayed a dragon.
Guess what...men aren't perfect. We know this. You know this. But most men WANT to be their wives' Prince Charming.
Now...how long will Prince Charming rescue some maiden if she constantly nags him about the smell of his armor?
Not very long. And who could blame him?
So if you want your husband to change for the better, you must reinforce him POSTIVELY.
Compliment him. Touch him. Feed him. Build him up. Encourage him. Celebrate with him. And when he's alone and sad....be a friend to him, his cheerleader, his admirer, his secret lover, and forgive him for his faults.
You'll soon have a man who will fall on his sword rather than disappoint you.
Good Luck!
Try instead of looking at the bad look for the good. Start doing special things for one another again only this time do not stop. Give him compliments and he should return the favor. I have been with my husband for 10 years and still love him to death. Yes it has its ups and downs but both of us learn how to forgive each other when there is bad days and we start all over from scratch.
1. Communication is KEY.
2. Laughter, jokes, smiles
3. The Golden Rule
4. Good homemade food, healthy food, junk food occasionally
5. Openness
6. Get-aways, vacations
7. Goals for the relationship
8. Make sweet gentle love, make passionate fury love
9. Compliments
10. Love
It takes two! Yes, it's cliche but, its true. Do your best and encourage your spouse to do the same, keep yourself up beat and positive. Give 110% of yourself in attention, affection, sex and love.
Gina is ABSOLUTELY right. Get a guy on the side. Best sex you'll ever have and your husband will walk around all day wondering why you look so relaxed ... and how you got a hicky there.
Have you tried counselling?
I'll wait for a while. And if he continues then bye bye.skin care cosmetics
Any advice on how to keep a marriage from becoming more like a state of constant hell...How do you keep a marriage going?
Get a boyfriend on the side. Works every time.How do you keep a marriage going?
All marriages wane and wax. Remember when you said ';For Better or For Worse';.
Well, this is the Worse part.
The good news is it fades with some fairly easy steps.
1. Feircely love: It's not hard to love someone when life is great, there is money in the bank, the kids are quiet, he's just got a promotion, and you've lost ten pounds. Love is easy when life is good.
But Fierce Love is when life stinks...and your love overcomes all obsticles. When he's out of a job, when there are bills piling up, when the kids are in trouble, when the house is a mess, when the in-laws are a pain, when you're exhausted, when you're fustraited and tired and he's drinking from the damn carton again and you just want to strangle him.....to walk across the room and give him a big hug and tell him how lucky you are is Fierce Love.
And the more you give it...the more you'll feel it. Love is like a big mud fight....you can't throw Love without getting it all over yourself too.
Learn to respond to your anger, your exasperation, and your depression with signs of love.
Ever notice how fiercely little children love their parents? They don't respond with sarcastic comments and storm out of the room. When they're upset (even with you) they lift their little arms up and invite you in for a hug. They put their heads down on your lap.
And that's how you should be.
2. Recognize your power: Men and women are not the same. In fact, in many ways, they are complete complimentary opposites.
Men tend to be dominant and aggressive in all things physical. Ever notice how men respond to difficult emotional situations?
They get dominant and physical.
Ever notice how women respond to difficult physical situations?
They respond emotionally. That's because women are dominant emotially in the relationship.
As the emotionally dominant one....how do you think the emotional state of the relationship is going to be if you decide to be angry, fustraited, or upset about something?
Naturally, the relationship will turn in a negative direction.
Unfortunately, men will try to turn it around with all sorts of physical solutions. And very rarely will they succeed.
Why?
Because your problem consists of an emotional situation, and you are the one best equipped to solve it.
If you're angry about him breaking a plate....will his solution of buying a new one get him off the hook? Well, it replaces the plate...but if you're still angry with him (maybe he was juggling them), the problem isn't solved.
It'll only be solved when YOU either a) decide this argument is worth bringing up and having a long discussion about (if it's important) or b) just dropping it and realizing that it's just not worth the anger.
And, of course, the marriage will only be as happy as you want it to be. You are the emotional leader of the house. If you aren't happy, he won't be happy, and the kids won't be happy. Everyone unhappy.
If you want to be happy, ACT HAPPY! The husband will mirror your happiness, reassuring and colsoling the children.
This is your power as a mother, a wife, and a woman.
3. Give to receive: You know what Prince Charming smelled like? He wore armor constantly. He probably smelled like an old penny most of the time.
However, he was brave and heroic and courageous and fearless because his damsel in distress always exclaimed ';My Hero!'; whenever he slayed a dragon.
Guess what...men aren't perfect. We know this. You know this. But most men WANT to be their wives' Prince Charming.
Now...how long will Prince Charming rescue some maiden if she constantly nags him about the smell of his armor?
Not very long. And who could blame him?
So if you want your husband to change for the better, you must reinforce him POSTIVELY.
Compliment him. Touch him. Feed him. Build him up. Encourage him. Celebrate with him. And when he's alone and sad....be a friend to him, his cheerleader, his admirer, his secret lover, and forgive him for his faults.
You'll soon have a man who will fall on his sword rather than disappoint you.
Good Luck!
Try instead of looking at the bad look for the good. Start doing special things for one another again only this time do not stop. Give him compliments and he should return the favor. I have been with my husband for 10 years and still love him to death. Yes it has its ups and downs but both of us learn how to forgive each other when there is bad days and we start all over from scratch.
1. Communication is KEY.
2. Laughter, jokes, smiles
3. The Golden Rule
4. Good homemade food, healthy food, junk food occasionally
5. Openness
6. Get-aways, vacations
7. Goals for the relationship
8. Make sweet gentle love, make passionate fury love
9. Compliments
10. Love
It takes two! Yes, it's cliche but, its true. Do your best and encourage your spouse to do the same, keep yourself up beat and positive. Give 110% of yourself in attention, affection, sex and love.
Gina is ABSOLUTELY right. Get a guy on the side. Best sex you'll ever have and your husband will walk around all day wondering why you look so relaxed ... and how you got a hicky there.
Have you tried counselling?
I'll wait for a while. And if he continues then bye bye.
Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Is that why I feel restless and bored?Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
marriages cause ruts, lifes gets dull and boring as hell once married, dont mean you dont love the person its just that life doesnt seem exciting anymore, then again all my single buddies hate being single. I think the worlds just messed up.Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Never been married but i'm in a long term relationship.yrs at times i feel that way,it's natural you just can't live life day to day and expect to be all in love constantly.
What's that expression 'familiarity breeds contempt' for example or 'you hurt those closest to you',
Basically when you live with the same person there are times when you get fed up at the site of them,those things they say annoy you and you feel bored maybe,restless or trapped by it possibly.
That's life I'm afraid,it's ups and downs,,you can accept that and savour all the good times and grit your teeth,just get through the bad times or you can give up cos it aint going so well.
Up to you !!
You call it a rut, and I call it comfort, and familiarity. These are positive things. Marriage doesn't need excitement, to be good. Relax and enjoy a nice life. My ex wife watched soaps, and identified with the characters, to the point that she felt it was abnormal to NOT have an emotional crisis every 15 minutes or so. So she set about creating one. Who needs it. Give me that rut. It's worked for current wife and me for last 28 years. If you are restless and bored, get out and do something constructive. Your local school could use a volunteer, kids need tutors, Walk up and down your street picking up trash and greet and talk to your neighbors. Get into a fitness program. Try competitive athletics.
Perhaps you need a child. : )
HOW TO RAISE A CHILD
When male and female join together,
enter into the true marriage,
the union that is truly one flesh,
a beautiful child is conceived,
not physical but spiritual in nature,
this child conceived in love,
must be fed accordingly,
and the child will grow,
to fill the universe and beyond,
a very strange thing happens,
when the child reaches maturity,
it is seen that she is female,
and this child of love,
becomes our Mother,
we have come full circle children,
so rejoice at our good fortune,
and don't forget to love.
when i felt in a rut i left that loser who put me there and since that i never felt like that anymore. first i enjoyed single life for a while - dating and travelling and meeting new people (men mostly). and i decided never getting married again, staying single and dating and having fun ( i already had 3 kids). but then i met my prince and we got together after a while and since that i have never been happier. no, my second marriage never felt in a rut and i like being married
My marriage has always been in a rut and it's probably lasted longer than you are old. But, there's no escaping it. I wish there was, but there isn't...
Well, looking at your profile page, I realize it hasn't lasted THAT long. However, it has been more than 27 1/2 years, now...
Shouldn't it be, ';anyone out there feel like their marriage isn't in a rut?';
Hehehe. Just my two cents. On a daily basis we have to decide to stay married (or not!). It's not really about feelings sometimes, unfortunately...
Although maybe it should be?
Marriage is not always going to be action-packed. There are ups, downs, ins, and outs. Only the strong survive. TRY to find things to spice up your love life or find a hobby and try to implement it in your marriage. Be creative...theres tons of things to get the party going again!
Yes, my marriage is in a rut. However, after the drama and trauma of raising children, selling a house in WIsconsin and buying one in Florida, looking for new jobs, etc., I LIKE my comfortable little rut.
sometimes, marriage seem to be at a stand still. Not really going anywhere and the future seems bleak. I can't really help you with this seeing as how I'm currently at that place. So, maybe someone can give us some advice.
Maybe you just need to find something outside of the house that you like to do, like a new hobby or maybe you need to spice it up in the bedroom
it sounds like him being gone is taking its tow on you. You ever need to chat i am online at night.
marriages cause ruts, lifes gets dull and boring as hell once married, dont mean you dont love the person its just that life doesnt seem exciting anymore, then again all my single buddies hate being single. I think the worlds just messed up.Anyone else feel like their marriage is in a rut?
Never been married but i'm in a long term relationship.yrs at times i feel that way,it's natural you just can't live life day to day and expect to be all in love constantly.
What's that expression 'familiarity breeds contempt' for example or 'you hurt those closest to you',
Basically when you live with the same person there are times when you get fed up at the site of them,those things they say annoy you and you feel bored maybe,restless or trapped by it possibly.
That's life I'm afraid,it's ups and downs,,you can accept that and savour all the good times and grit your teeth,just get through the bad times or you can give up cos it aint going so well.
Up to you !!
You call it a rut, and I call it comfort, and familiarity. These are positive things. Marriage doesn't need excitement, to be good. Relax and enjoy a nice life. My ex wife watched soaps, and identified with the characters, to the point that she felt it was abnormal to NOT have an emotional crisis every 15 minutes or so. So she set about creating one. Who needs it. Give me that rut. It's worked for current wife and me for last 28 years. If you are restless and bored, get out and do something constructive. Your local school could use a volunteer, kids need tutors, Walk up and down your street picking up trash and greet and talk to your neighbors. Get into a fitness program. Try competitive athletics.
Perhaps you need a child. : )
HOW TO RAISE A CHILD
When male and female join together,
enter into the true marriage,
the union that is truly one flesh,
a beautiful child is conceived,
not physical but spiritual in nature,
this child conceived in love,
must be fed accordingly,
and the child will grow,
to fill the universe and beyond,
a very strange thing happens,
when the child reaches maturity,
it is seen that she is female,
and this child of love,
becomes our Mother,
we have come full circle children,
so rejoice at our good fortune,
and don't forget to love.
when i felt in a rut i left that loser who put me there and since that i never felt like that anymore. first i enjoyed single life for a while - dating and travelling and meeting new people (men mostly). and i decided never getting married again, staying single and dating and having fun ( i already had 3 kids). but then i met my prince and we got together after a while and since that i have never been happier. no, my second marriage never felt in a rut and i like being married
My marriage has always been in a rut and it's probably lasted longer than you are old. But, there's no escaping it. I wish there was, but there isn't...
Well, looking at your profile page, I realize it hasn't lasted THAT long. However, it has been more than 27 1/2 years, now...
Shouldn't it be, ';anyone out there feel like their marriage isn't in a rut?';
Hehehe. Just my two cents. On a daily basis we have to decide to stay married (or not!). It's not really about feelings sometimes, unfortunately...
Although maybe it should be?
Marriage is not always going to be action-packed. There are ups, downs, ins, and outs. Only the strong survive. TRY to find things to spice up your love life or find a hobby and try to implement it in your marriage. Be creative...theres tons of things to get the party going again!
Yes, my marriage is in a rut. However, after the drama and trauma of raising children, selling a house in WIsconsin and buying one in Florida, looking for new jobs, etc., I LIKE my comfortable little rut.
sometimes, marriage seem to be at a stand still. Not really going anywhere and the future seems bleak. I can't really help you with this seeing as how I'm currently at that place. So, maybe someone can give us some advice.
Maybe you just need to find something outside of the house that you like to do, like a new hobby or maybe you need to spice it up in the bedroom
it sounds like him being gone is taking its tow on you. You ever need to chat i am online at night.
When do you know a marriage is truly over?
My husband and I have been fighting really bad. I have said things that I don't even think I could bring myself to repeat. I was really angry at him at the moment. I just think we should work things out, but I, also think things have went to far.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
When you look at the other person and feel Truly vacant devoid of any positive regard or appreciation. When you bring out the worst in each other to the point that the only humane loving thin to do is to leave each other. I have had a similar time recently with my wife and many nasty things were said. My psychology professor (female) said,'; that while we are under the impression that men are more violent in truth women are actually verbally and mentally as violent if not more.'; When all the storms subside I still find affection/love for her but not forgiveness and of course we will be attending counseling soon. I agree with the others I do not think your done, maybe done fighting and or relating within power struggles that prompt you to resort to such behaviors, but not done. Your asking. When I am done I would not even be asking I'd be making plans to cover my asset's and head out the door.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
Take a vacation from each other. Get apart and give time to miss each other. Also ask each other for forgiveness and to start over again. And always remember one thing...
There will never be a marriage without a fight. But the point of a fight is to put your points across. Express your emotions, anger and frustrations to the other person. THE INTEND IS NEVER TO HURT THE OTHER PERSON. A spouse is the only person who would possibly know all the shortcomings of the other. So that makes him the only person who could possibly hurt the other to the most. But its the duty of the other half to complement his or her shortcomings and complete him or her. Not to pick the other person on that and hurt him or her.
Buy 'Men are from mars women are from venus' and 'Why mars and venus collide' by Dr. John Grey (Ph.D) He is the foremost researcher in the field of male female personal relationships and these books are gems. I assure you will be a better person after you read this book during your vacations from each other.
Hope this helped.
You have to make a consience desision to end the marriage. If your willing you can work through any prob.
I think by your question that you really know the answer.
You need to work at a marriage - both ot you - but this
sounds more long-term, otherwise you would not be
on the net with this question.
If you both think you should work things out.. then that marriage isn't over... yet. Nothing is irreconcilable when both partners want to reconcile.
In answer to you actual question Darling. Your marriage is not over till DEATH DO YOU PART. So your safe there.
Doesn't sound like it is over to me yet. Work it out.
When you look at the other person and feel Truly vacant devoid of any positive regard or appreciation. When you bring out the worst in each other to the point that the only humane loving thin to do is to leave each other. I have had a similar time recently with my wife and many nasty things were said. My psychology professor (female) said,'; that while we are under the impression that men are more violent in truth women are actually verbally and mentally as violent if not more.'; When all the storms subside I still find affection/love for her but not forgiveness and of course we will be attending counseling soon. I agree with the others I do not think your done, maybe done fighting and or relating within power struggles that prompt you to resort to such behaviors, but not done. Your asking. When I am done I would not even be asking I'd be making plans to cover my asset's and head out the door.When do you know a marriage is truly over?
Take a vacation from each other. Get apart and give time to miss each other. Also ask each other for forgiveness and to start over again. And always remember one thing...
There will never be a marriage without a fight. But the point of a fight is to put your points across. Express your emotions, anger and frustrations to the other person. THE INTEND IS NEVER TO HURT THE OTHER PERSON. A spouse is the only person who would possibly know all the shortcomings of the other. So that makes him the only person who could possibly hurt the other to the most. But its the duty of the other half to complement his or her shortcomings and complete him or her. Not to pick the other person on that and hurt him or her.
Buy 'Men are from mars women are from venus' and 'Why mars and venus collide' by Dr. John Grey (Ph.D) He is the foremost researcher in the field of male female personal relationships and these books are gems. I assure you will be a better person after you read this book during your vacations from each other.
Hope this helped.
You have to make a consience desision to end the marriage. If your willing you can work through any prob.
I think by your question that you really know the answer.
You need to work at a marriage - both ot you - but this
sounds more long-term, otherwise you would not be
on the net with this question.
If you both think you should work things out.. then that marriage isn't over... yet. Nothing is irreconcilable when both partners want to reconcile.
In answer to you actual question Darling. Your marriage is not over till DEATH DO YOU PART. So your safe there.
Doesn't sound like it is over to me yet. Work it out.
What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Commitment. Both have to give it 100% and expect to receive fifty percent in return. Sometimes you get more than you give and sometimes you give more than you get.
Sharing. EVERYTHING. His or her problems are your problems too. You have to help each other in everything as much as you are capable.
Sounding Board. Listen, listen, listen. Offer the best help you can offer.
Understanding of the other persons thoughts, feelings, limitations.
Sympathy.
Empathy.
Kindness.
You have to put up with a lot, no matter how much you care for the person, theres gonna be times when you think you have made a mistake in marrying him or her. But if you are both really trying to make it work...stick with it. If one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking, its time to look at the situation a lot more closely and talk serioulsly about some changes that need to be made, or it will end in divorce.
If you marry the wrong person, it can be HELL. The word Hell does not really describe a bad marriage well enough. I have never been so miserable than I was in my first marriage. I was too young and so was she. I was twenty one, she was eighteen. We stayed married almost ten years and did every dirty thing we could think of to each other except kill each other or physically abuse each other.
WE should have quit within the first year. We didn't because we had a baby and wanted the marriage to work for the baby....BAD...BAD...mistake.
Both people have to work at it at the same time....that never happened between the two of us. By the end of the third year of marriage to this person, I hated her as much as I thought I loved her when we were first married.
Get to know the person, really, really, really well...even then you wont know them as well as you'll know them after one year of marriage.What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
For mine, both marriages (to the same guy), disappointing, hurtful, disrespectful, mistakes, selfishness, unloving, drugs, alcohol, unfaithfulness, oh I could go on. Those were all my words about him, sad to say but true :(What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Lifelong friendship. Commitment. Partnership. Work in progress. Difficult. Challenging. Comforting. Roller coaster ride. The most important thing in my life. Evolving. Perseverance. Better than being single at 39, like my friends. Raising decent children. Really feeling at home.
I've been married three times. Do I get three words, one for each marriage? If so, they'd be
Immature
Unstable
Finally!
If I only get one word to describe my overall experience, it'd be
Uncertainty
Compromise, commitment and sharing. And putting your spouse and family before yourself at least some of the time, the more the better.
Fun, hard, frustrating, rewarding, loving, happiness
Horror, torment, uncertainty, hatred, pain without end.
Full of surprises!
It's been delightfully challenging ...
...feels like a jail bird serving life....but it's the only prison i don't mind doing double life, as time..... after committing this heinous crime that we call falling in love!
a family reunion
Distant. Just... distant.
Biggest mistake ever.
Disappointing.
thought i have found the one. now i feel crushed that its over.
but how can you live with someone when it feels so wrong
MEANNESS!... OVER!!
Sacrafice, sharing and commitment.
Even on days I want to kill him.
Disaster in the worst way.
different
Living hell
Hard hard and harder.
Gosh! I'm tired!
The end of an era! But at least I get my washing done....
I been married now three times so I would say I been around the block
work
pure hell.........................
a war to end all wars
Sharing. EVERYTHING. His or her problems are your problems too. You have to help each other in everything as much as you are capable.
Sounding Board. Listen, listen, listen. Offer the best help you can offer.
Understanding of the other persons thoughts, feelings, limitations.
Sympathy.
Empathy.
Kindness.
You have to put up with a lot, no matter how much you care for the person, theres gonna be times when you think you have made a mistake in marrying him or her. But if you are both really trying to make it work...stick with it. If one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking, its time to look at the situation a lot more closely and talk serioulsly about some changes that need to be made, or it will end in divorce.
If you marry the wrong person, it can be HELL. The word Hell does not really describe a bad marriage well enough. I have never been so miserable than I was in my first marriage. I was too young and so was she. I was twenty one, she was eighteen. We stayed married almost ten years and did every dirty thing we could think of to each other except kill each other or physically abuse each other.
WE should have quit within the first year. We didn't because we had a baby and wanted the marriage to work for the baby....BAD...BAD...mistake.
Both people have to work at it at the same time....that never happened between the two of us. By the end of the third year of marriage to this person, I hated her as much as I thought I loved her when we were first married.
Get to know the person, really, really, really well...even then you wont know them as well as you'll know them after one year of marriage.What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
For mine, both marriages (to the same guy), disappointing, hurtful, disrespectful, mistakes, selfishness, unloving, drugs, alcohol, unfaithfulness, oh I could go on. Those were all my words about him, sad to say but true :(What word or words would you use to describe your experience of marriage?
Lifelong friendship. Commitment. Partnership. Work in progress. Difficult. Challenging. Comforting. Roller coaster ride. The most important thing in my life. Evolving. Perseverance. Better than being single at 39, like my friends. Raising decent children. Really feeling at home.
I've been married three times. Do I get three words, one for each marriage? If so, they'd be
Immature
Unstable
Finally!
If I only get one word to describe my overall experience, it'd be
Uncertainty
Compromise, commitment and sharing. And putting your spouse and family before yourself at least some of the time, the more the better.
Fun, hard, frustrating, rewarding, loving, happiness
Horror, torment, uncertainty, hatred, pain without end.
Full of surprises!
It's been delightfully challenging ...
...feels like a jail bird serving life....but it's the only prison i don't mind doing double life, as time..... after committing this heinous crime that we call falling in love!
a family reunion
Distant. Just... distant.
Biggest mistake ever.
Disappointing.
thought i have found the one. now i feel crushed that its over.
but how can you live with someone when it feels so wrong
MEANNESS!... OVER!!
Sacrafice, sharing and commitment.
Even on days I want to kill him.
Disaster in the worst way.
different
Living hell
Hard hard and harder.
Gosh! I'm tired!
The end of an era! But at least I get my washing done....
I been married now three times so I would say I been around the block
work
pure hell.........................
a war to end all wars
Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
I've now met two women who homeschool their kids, who tell me they feel that they and their spouse should choose their future children's spouse. They feel that they are in the best situation to know what is best for their children.
It seems like these parents are trying to control even what happens to them as adults and not allow their children to have the right to make any decisions for themselves.
What do you think about this?Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
We home-school and have heard a number of folks say the same thing.
Some folks are likely trying to influence and control their kids lives. I will also say that I know one married couple who were arranged, if you will, and now are doing the same with their kids.
I won't even attempt it. I remember my mom always trying to set me up with this gal and that gal - I still shiver thinking about it. Not that this gal and that gal weren't everything my mom said that they were, but the idea that my mom would set me up was just too revolting for some reason. With this in mind, I'd never do this to my kids.
I don't agree with other parents doing this either, but will defend those folks who have come from communities which have heavily influenced their children's spouses over the years - although I don't agree with them either.
-------------
Edit: I followed Bobby Bonsai over here - how you doin Bobby? Happy New Year everybody!Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
Little children should not marry....LOL
Seriously,instead of choosing a suitable future mate for their child,a responsible parent should rather concentrate on teaching the child, ';how';.. to choose.
(((sEaRcHeR)))) (((Super Bobo))
Wow. I homeschooled for 3 years because of my hubby's job but never felt that way. I could barely tell them what TV shows they were allowed to watch. :-)
Are you kidding!! What era and culture do these people think they live in!
i feel so sorry for kids whose parents wrap them in cotton wool and provide them with no opportunities to learn lifes lesson on their own terms.
I think that is nuts
I know some people homeschool very well.. but I also know some who dont..
I recently watched a TV show called JESUS CAMP.. it was scarey - they showed kids being brainwashed for Churh Purposes and showed the statistic that 75% of homeschooled kids in USA are Evangelical Christians.. and showed a clip of a mom ';homeschooling'; her son.. it was hillarious (sad).. I was in shock at what she was teaching him...
at one point they discussed ';Global Warming and pollution'; and mom said they dont need to worry about it because Jesus is coming to save every one soon so it wont matter...
my eyes nearly popped out.. and now you are saying they want to arrange their kids marriage...
omg talk about control freaks!!! these kids are so sheltered from the world and now that?? and their parents are the only authoritity figures they know..
disgusting!
OMG! I really have no idea why some parents are so controlling. I certainly would not have wanted my parents to pick my mate. I met some of the ';nice boys'; my mother tried to push on me as it was! Yuck and double Yuck!
I don't feel that a parent should ever choose the life partner their child will be living with. I know in a lot of cultures it is tradition, but I believe firmly that every person has the right to choose the person they love.
I think that this is a made up question. I am a home schooled teen, who is now in college. I have met thousands of other home schooling families from across the nation and never once heard of this before. it was very common 2000+ years ago, but not at all today, unless you live in some 3rd world country.
well, in some cultures that is a tradition. to each his own I guess...that would not have worked for me and it probably doesn't work for everyone.
A child should be allowed to to choose it's wife or husband in life it's their right
I think not that is just to controlling and the kids got to be able to fly on their own two feet, and how will the kids make their own decisions their parents make all the decisions from what outfits to their spouse will make very dependent kids. or they will freak out of control when they are free
We homeschool and with the hundreds (I do mean hundreds -I work at the local convention) of homeschool families I've met, I've never met any that want to pick their children's spouses.
No. The decision should be left up to their child. In the end more then likely the child once old enough to leave the house at the age of 18 will probably try to get as far away as possible and never want to have anything to do with their parents if they are that controlling.
i know you are asking homeschool parents but i was homeschooled and i know my mom would like to pick my partner but my dad only wants to see me happy, however its alittle difficult now since i'm with child. i believe that they feel that since they homeschooled their kids, the kids wouldn't be able to make an ';educated'; decision concerning thier spouse and that they are parents would be able to make a better decision (alittle old fastioned but alot of religions in the US still do this today)
That ain't right!
It seems like these parents are trying to control even what happens to them as adults and not allow their children to have the right to make any decisions for themselves.
What do you think about this?Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
We home-school and have heard a number of folks say the same thing.
Some folks are likely trying to influence and control their kids lives. I will also say that I know one married couple who were arranged, if you will, and now are doing the same with their kids.
I won't even attempt it. I remember my mom always trying to set me up with this gal and that gal - I still shiver thinking about it. Not that this gal and that gal weren't everything my mom said that they were, but the idea that my mom would set me up was just too revolting for some reason. With this in mind, I'd never do this to my kids.
I don't agree with other parents doing this either, but will defend those folks who have come from communities which have heavily influenced their children's spouses over the years - although I don't agree with them either.
-------------
Edit: I followed Bobby Bonsai over here - how you doin Bobby? Happy New Year everybody!Homeschool parents, Do you think that parents should choose their child's marriage partner?
Little children should not marry....LOL
Seriously,instead of choosing a suitable future mate for their child,a responsible parent should rather concentrate on teaching the child, ';how';.. to choose.
(((sEaRcHeR)))) (((Super Bobo))
Wow. I homeschooled for 3 years because of my hubby's job but never felt that way. I could barely tell them what TV shows they were allowed to watch. :-)
Are you kidding!! What era and culture do these people think they live in!
i feel so sorry for kids whose parents wrap them in cotton wool and provide them with no opportunities to learn lifes lesson on their own terms.
I think that is nuts
I know some people homeschool very well.. but I also know some who dont..
I recently watched a TV show called JESUS CAMP.. it was scarey - they showed kids being brainwashed for Churh Purposes and showed the statistic that 75% of homeschooled kids in USA are Evangelical Christians.. and showed a clip of a mom ';homeschooling'; her son.. it was hillarious (sad).. I was in shock at what she was teaching him...
at one point they discussed ';Global Warming and pollution'; and mom said they dont need to worry about it because Jesus is coming to save every one soon so it wont matter...
my eyes nearly popped out.. and now you are saying they want to arrange their kids marriage...
omg talk about control freaks!!! these kids are so sheltered from the world and now that?? and their parents are the only authoritity figures they know..
disgusting!
OMG! I really have no idea why some parents are so controlling. I certainly would not have wanted my parents to pick my mate. I met some of the ';nice boys'; my mother tried to push on me as it was! Yuck and double Yuck!
I don't feel that a parent should ever choose the life partner their child will be living with. I know in a lot of cultures it is tradition, but I believe firmly that every person has the right to choose the person they love.
I think that this is a made up question. I am a home schooled teen, who is now in college. I have met thousands of other home schooling families from across the nation and never once heard of this before. it was very common 2000+ years ago, but not at all today, unless you live in some 3rd world country.
well, in some cultures that is a tradition. to each his own I guess...that would not have worked for me and it probably doesn't work for everyone.
A child should be allowed to to choose it's wife or husband in life it's their right
I think not that is just to controlling and the kids got to be able to fly on their own two feet, and how will the kids make their own decisions their parents make all the decisions from what outfits to their spouse will make very dependent kids. or they will freak out of control when they are free
We homeschool and with the hundreds (I do mean hundreds -I work at the local convention) of homeschool families I've met, I've never met any that want to pick their children's spouses.
No. The decision should be left up to their child. In the end more then likely the child once old enough to leave the house at the age of 18 will probably try to get as far away as possible and never want to have anything to do with their parents if they are that controlling.
i know you are asking homeschool parents but i was homeschooled and i know my mom would like to pick my partner but my dad only wants to see me happy, however its alittle difficult now since i'm with child. i believe that they feel that since they homeschooled their kids, the kids wouldn't be able to make an ';educated'; decision concerning thier spouse and that they are parents would be able to make a better decision (alittle old fastioned but alot of religions in the US still do this today)
That ain't right!
Why are people against Obama being president (get over it) and gay marriage?
I guess those two go hand in hand, since it's the Republicans that fall under those two categories. Why does this happen though? Come on people it's 2008, it's time for America to make a change. Why are people against Obama being president (get over it) and gay marriage?
Honestly I don't approve of Obama or McCain. And people will give me thumbs down for my opinion, which is quite pathetic.
But gay marriage? I'm no on Prop 8.
Honestly I don't approve of Obama or McCain. And people will give me thumbs down for my opinion, which is quite pathetic.
But gay marriage? I'm no on Prop 8.
So you believe that gay marriage should be prohibited by the law in order to enforce the christian faith?
Should fornication and adultery be prohibited and punished by the same laws?So you believe that gay marriage should be prohibited by the law in order to enforce the christian faith?
No. And yes, anti-gay ';votes'; and the ';will of the people'; is just a back door (no pun intended) attempt to legislate Christianity. Although Christian, I refuse to enact my beliefs through law. If you are not enough of a Christian to live the life voluntarily, well, you are not really Christian, are you?
This is not a state matter; it a freedom matter. Gay marriage is going to be the law of the land, and the sooner the better.So you believe that gay marriage should be prohibited by the law in order to enforce the christian faith?
Well, it was the will of the people that saw and experienced slavery, and, found it repugnant. The will of the people banished slavery.
Fornication and adultery laws are still on the books in most states, but now rarely enforced because social liberalism and relativity have taken a strong hold on our culture.
Not that much is said in the bible about homosexuality. What little is, frowns upon ';gay acts'; of love.
Too much attention is given to gay rights and such in the media. I do not see gays as persecuted by the government, and, marriage is a union by a man and a woman, not, by a man to a man, nor, a woman to a woman.
If gay couples wish to live and love one another, so be it, but, I do not see the need to institutionalize such unions.
No.
';If it was up to the will of the people we would still have slavery'; That is not true. Before the Civil War, several slave owners had begun granting freedom to their slaves. They found that when those men and women had freedom, and worked for something they wanted, they were more productive. So your slavery analogy just doesn't work.
The issue of gay marriage is not about religious issues. It is about the fact that marriage is a privilege, not a right.
Ask yourself - Why is it illegal for first cousins, and siblings to marry? Because the off spring would more than likely have birth defects.
Now realizing that the ultimate goal of a marriage is to have a family)children), then there is absolutely no reason to legalize gay marriage; they can have no children.
There really is a reason for two genders. Those two genders have different reproductive organs, for a reason.
this question is sarcasm right?
today Iowa, tomorrow the United States.
I guarantee there will be a SCOTUS case concerning the recognition of gay marriage in all the states. according to the full faith and credit clause of our Constitution, the states should recognize other states' court decisions. therefore, not every state has to perform gay marriages, but if i got married in Massachusetts and came back to Ohio, my state gov't should recognize my marriage.
That's basically what the Christian Right and many (even most) Americans want.
The people (minus the Christian Right) are going through a sea change though. The trend is very clear. Prop 8 wouldn't pass in a few years, and will be laughed at not long after that. Gay marriage is here to stay.
What does our Constitution say? Equal protection. There is no justification to stop it. The states will fall like dominoes.
The 'save marriage' people have no ground to stand on. Like you say....if you really want to start saving marriage, then start prosecuting people for adultery and give 6 months of jail for everyone who wants to divorce.
Excellent point--one I've been making since before Proposition 8.
Anybody serious about ';protecting the sanctity of marriage'; ought to favor six weeks in jail for every incidence of adultery, and probably three years or so in prison for each divorce...
Anybody talking about the ';sanctity of marriage'; because they grossed out by the thought of two dudes kissing needs to mind his own business and get a freakin life.
No
I truly believe if you are going to change the legal definition of marriage than you must pass a change in the law.
Much like VT did.
I don't think changing the law by court is the way to go.
While we are at it Christian faith also is against murder so do you want that change too?
We have process to change the laws in the country.
Use it.
no,it should not take place because marriage is defined between a man and a woman. words have meanings
carl gay men can marry any woman they want,gay women can marry any man they want,straight men can't marry another man,so there is equal protection.
I think it should be banned because it is an unnatural act of perversion and you can only ask what is next lowering the legal age of consent so pedophiles have equal rights or allowing sex with animals so perverts have equal rights? You have to ask where does it end?
More like just protect the law of nature ! I'm sorry it is just nasty and some of us really don't want to have it shoved down our throats (no pun ) Comparing it to slavery is just stupid ! Take a trip to the farm or the zoo, you don't see any gay animals !
Adultery is prohibited. I don't know what state you live in.
Gay marriage is a moral issue. There are atheists against gay marriage.
I couldn't care less about enforcing the Christian faith. What you want to do in your church is your business, but don't force your superstitions onto my government.
This issue has been brought before the voters dozens of times and Americans consistantly vote against gay marriage. Why can't you accept the will of the people?
Well not all gays are Christians ... so you would obviously approve of a gay Buddhist wedding ceremony ... or a Jewish one ... or just a secular ceremony?
If not ... why not?
Yeah definitely, allowing fags to marry is nonsense and the government should not encourage these nonsense.
I just want them to stay in the closet and to quit trying to push their sickness onto society.
Who cares what they do, they're not hurting anyone.
Issues like this should be left up to the states.skin care cosmetics
No. And yes, anti-gay ';votes'; and the ';will of the people'; is just a back door (no pun intended) attempt to legislate Christianity. Although Christian, I refuse to enact my beliefs through law. If you are not enough of a Christian to live the life voluntarily, well, you are not really Christian, are you?
This is not a state matter; it a freedom matter. Gay marriage is going to be the law of the land, and the sooner the better.So you believe that gay marriage should be prohibited by the law in order to enforce the christian faith?
Well, it was the will of the people that saw and experienced slavery, and, found it repugnant. The will of the people banished slavery.
Fornication and adultery laws are still on the books in most states, but now rarely enforced because social liberalism and relativity have taken a strong hold on our culture.
Not that much is said in the bible about homosexuality. What little is, frowns upon ';gay acts'; of love.
Too much attention is given to gay rights and such in the media. I do not see gays as persecuted by the government, and, marriage is a union by a man and a woman, not, by a man to a man, nor, a woman to a woman.
If gay couples wish to live and love one another, so be it, but, I do not see the need to institutionalize such unions.
No.
';If it was up to the will of the people we would still have slavery'; That is not true. Before the Civil War, several slave owners had begun granting freedom to their slaves. They found that when those men and women had freedom, and worked for something they wanted, they were more productive. So your slavery analogy just doesn't work.
The issue of gay marriage is not about religious issues. It is about the fact that marriage is a privilege, not a right.
Ask yourself - Why is it illegal for first cousins, and siblings to marry? Because the off spring would more than likely have birth defects.
Now realizing that the ultimate goal of a marriage is to have a family)children), then there is absolutely no reason to legalize gay marriage; they can have no children.
There really is a reason for two genders. Those two genders have different reproductive organs, for a reason.
this question is sarcasm right?
today Iowa, tomorrow the United States.
I guarantee there will be a SCOTUS case concerning the recognition of gay marriage in all the states. according to the full faith and credit clause of our Constitution, the states should recognize other states' court decisions. therefore, not every state has to perform gay marriages, but if i got married in Massachusetts and came back to Ohio, my state gov't should recognize my marriage.
That's basically what the Christian Right and many (even most) Americans want.
The people (minus the Christian Right) are going through a sea change though. The trend is very clear. Prop 8 wouldn't pass in a few years, and will be laughed at not long after that. Gay marriage is here to stay.
What does our Constitution say? Equal protection. There is no justification to stop it. The states will fall like dominoes.
The 'save marriage' people have no ground to stand on. Like you say....if you really want to start saving marriage, then start prosecuting people for adultery and give 6 months of jail for everyone who wants to divorce.
Excellent point--one I've been making since before Proposition 8.
Anybody serious about ';protecting the sanctity of marriage'; ought to favor six weeks in jail for every incidence of adultery, and probably three years or so in prison for each divorce...
Anybody talking about the ';sanctity of marriage'; because they grossed out by the thought of two dudes kissing needs to mind his own business and get a freakin life.
No
I truly believe if you are going to change the legal definition of marriage than you must pass a change in the law.
Much like VT did.
I don't think changing the law by court is the way to go.
While we are at it Christian faith also is against murder so do you want that change too?
We have process to change the laws in the country.
Use it.
no,it should not take place because marriage is defined between a man and a woman. words have meanings
carl gay men can marry any woman they want,gay women can marry any man they want,straight men can't marry another man,so there is equal protection.
I think it should be banned because it is an unnatural act of perversion and you can only ask what is next lowering the legal age of consent so pedophiles have equal rights or allowing sex with animals so perverts have equal rights? You have to ask where does it end?
More like just protect the law of nature ! I'm sorry it is just nasty and some of us really don't want to have it shoved down our throats (no pun ) Comparing it to slavery is just stupid ! Take a trip to the farm or the zoo, you don't see any gay animals !
Adultery is prohibited. I don't know what state you live in.
Gay marriage is a moral issue. There are atheists against gay marriage.
I couldn't care less about enforcing the Christian faith. What you want to do in your church is your business, but don't force your superstitions onto my government.
This issue has been brought before the voters dozens of times and Americans consistantly vote against gay marriage. Why can't you accept the will of the people?
Well not all gays are Christians ... so you would obviously approve of a gay Buddhist wedding ceremony ... or a Jewish one ... or just a secular ceremony?
If not ... why not?
Yeah definitely, allowing fags to marry is nonsense and the government should not encourage these nonsense.
I just want them to stay in the closet and to quit trying to push their sickness onto society.
Who cares what they do, they're not hurting anyone.
Issues like this should be left up to the states.
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