Thursday, January 21, 2010

Can having a higher sex drive than your wife ruin a marriage?

We've been married for 3+ years and my high sex drive has caused a lot of arguments. I don't know what to do. Cheating is never gonna happen, and I don't want to lose my wife. But I enjoy having sex...Can having a higher sex drive than your wife ruin a marriage?
Hmmm I have the same problem in reverse. Does she have a low sex drive or average? Is yours high or average? If yours is average and hers is low, maybe it's some kind of medication she's on or maybe she doesn't want to get pregnant. Maybe there are other factors in your relationship which turn her off. Women connect emotions with sex so if shes not happy in general, she's not going to be interested in sex. Try doing other things but let her know that you are not trying to have sex with her. Rub her back, her hair, tell her how sexy she is. Make comments about her randomly when you see her taking of her towel in your room or even doing dishes. If you take it off the table completely, she might actually end up wanting it! Good luck!Can having a higher sex drive than your wife ruin a marriage?
Yes it can ruin a marriage. Sex drive is not something you have a lot of control over, neither does she. Some people will 'comprimise' but most won't. It is like trying to get a person who is hardly ever hungry to eat 3x more per day or the opposite. It takes comprimise on both ends, you accept a bit less than you like, she accepts a bit more than she likes, then it can work. Usually the person who likes less is not willing (or able?) to comprimise.





I really have no advice on how to handle it assuming she will not change at all. It will make you very unhappy all the time. I consider sex a need and the drive for it to be out of a person's control (assuming there are no mental or physical problems) and it sucks.
It is typical that most men have a higher sex-drive than their wives. You have to fall into a kind of routine, and learn some self-control.





Make sure it's quality, not quantity, especially where she is concerned. Make sure ';ladies first'; is always your policy, and you should know that women are very capable of multiple orgasms. If she doesn't know this already, help her find it out, and you may find that she is a more willing partner.





Don't argue about it. Arguing doesn't get a woman hot and bothered, no matter what the TV shows and movies might make you think. Let her know that you appreciate her for more than her vagina. Help out around the house, and don't expect anything in return. When you're constantly pressuring her for sex, it might make her resist you even more because she will begin to think that you only married her for her body.





Try this tonight:


When you go to bed, tell her that you can tell she is stressed or tired, and you love her so much and want her, but you just want to give her a foot rub or a back rub, or whatever she likes. Then do it, no strings attached. If you're turned on, don't mention it, but make sure she feels it or sees it. Then, give her a kiss and tell her goodnight. The foot rub could turn into a leg rub, or the back rub could turn into an arm or bottom rub, but make sure it's offered no strings attached. Do it again tomorrow night. Unless there is somthing wrong with her, you'll get some. You have to warm a woman up slowly and let her know you appreciate her for more than sex.





Stop pressuring her, and find ways to show you appreciate her. Good luck!
No it should not ruin your marriage. I'm 6ft tall and my wife is petite at 5ft 5' tall. When we have sex she is absolutely helpless in my arms and always just lays there afterwards and sleeps. She said I am plenty for her.





I don't like hurting her, but sometimes she gets pretty loud and I think I'm hurting her, but she said it's like a good hurt so we leave it at that and my sex drive is way high, but she loves it and I guess that is why we have lasted 25 years in marriage.
find other things to do than sex. a healthy marriage shouldn't be based on sex. also the way you go about getting sex could be a problem, so think about your approach too. kudos to you for not cheating and not even letting it be an option.... there are other ways to be intimate with your wife (yes I know it's not the same for men as women) but perhaps if you do other things to create romance and intimacy she may become more willing. I know that when I feel valued, appreciated, and like my husband puts time, thought, and energy into making me feel special it boosts my drive. But don't do those things just to get sex, do them anyway because you love her and over time you will probably notice an increase in your sex life.
I love it too..


I am the one with the higher sex drive these days..





There are alot of things you can do to set the mood,


and then things you can do to really get her in the mood...


It might botherson to you and take extra time but it might get you more sex.
i think it can...i know a lot of people complain of the lack of sex in their marriages. you both have to come to a mutual agreement, to avoid conflicts and fights, etc. it sounds kinda sad, but your wife should also sexually desire you and want that connection with you as well....good luck!
well


I have a much higher sex drive than that of my husband


and like you, cheating would never happen





however


with comprimise and understanding, we do just fine


I self-serve alot


and we talk very openly about sex to avoid arguements
it's allllll too common my friend.


you are going to have to pleasure yourself a lot to get the edge off and just shmooze your wife and keep her feeling sexy and maybe you will get more?
Help her with the dishes, help clean the house, help with the children.





For some reason wivdes are more attracted to husbands with dishpan hands.
It could, but you shouldn't expect her to meet your needs all the time. Marriage is a partnership, not a license for sex.
Get her drunk alot! That helps! LOL
then make it so by talking things out with her .. if that dont work .then i am sorry but things will get worse ..
find a happy middle

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