Why living together before marriage doesn't work?

Do you think premarital cohabitation should provide an opportunity for couples to learn about each other, strengthen their bonds, and increase their chances for a successful marriage? But the evidence, however, suggests just the opposite. Why living together before marriage doesn't work?
No, I don't think that couples should live together because it is to the womans disadvantage. The guy usually gets bored with the girl and cheats. Where as if they were married. He would think twice before he cheated because he would not want a divorce.Why living together before marriage doesn't work?
I just love how people answer the question like you were asking something else. This happens in every category.





First of all the asker never said that every case where people live together get a divorce. He also did not say anything about religion either.





Yes many people have had successful relationships from living together before they got married. But it is not the norm. Here is the norm.





1. Over 53% of all marriages end in divorce.





2. That percentage is higher among those who have been divorced before.





3. That percentage is higher among those that lived together before marriage.





4. That percentage is higher among those that simply had sex before marriage.





Similar studies were done simply about sex itself. Married couples appear to have more Intimate and enjoyable sex if they did not have sex before marriage.





None of these studies were done by religious groups but they are often used by them.
I think it depends on the couple and the situation. If a couple moves in together because they want to see if they are compatible for marriage, then that's a bad thing. Eventually, they will probably get married JUST because they are living together and not because they truly want to be together. That will probably lead to divorce.





However, I think it's OK to live together if you've become engaged or are about to get engaged. It's a much different situation. The couple is committed to each other and they know they want to get married. They are just in the process of getting that together. They might be planning the wedding at that moment too.





But, it's bad if a couple moves in together but hasn't talked about marriage or is unsure if that's something they want in their future. But, for engaged couples, the situation is fine.
I personally don't think those studies are correct. We have studies on freaken everything! Yes, it's a fact that people who lived with each other before marriage have failed but now you have to consider the back ground of the divorce. I can assure you it has nothing to do with living with each other before marriage. I can bet the #1 reason for divorce is money. Based on ';studies'; of course.
Living together has an escape clause, with no real commitment, and it is easy to justify cheating by both sides. There is no real plan for a future, and the first time one or the other gets mad, it is always, ';well, we aren't married, I can do what I want.';There is no permanence, no plan, no future.First, love the one you are with, and save the intimacy for after the vows.
You need to try before you buy!!!!


I think it is a good idea to live together first, as you dont know someone fully until you live a day to day life with them.


People split up all the time regardless of living together first or not.


Also, do you want all the expense of a huge white wedding just to find out you was not quite as compatible as you thought only to end up with an even more expensive divorce!.?


I have been there done that and have the t-shirt to prove it!


Unless you have religious reasons not to, give it a go!
Well, I don't think that living together before works out, because basically you can know a man for a long time and what difference does it make whether you live or not....It's not going to make you want to marry him, unless you know his intentions before hand. I'm Catholic and just think that it's wrong, hope i don't offend anyone. I don't think that the sleeping together isn't going to gain anything either.....Some men are just strange that way......
I've been living with my girlfriend for the last 11 years we have 2 kids and are very happy together....I know this doesn't happen to every body though


I have a friend who was going out with a girl since they were in school ..they never lived together until they got married (great wedding by the way) they had two kids in the first three years they are now separated and don't even speak to each-other





Two perspectives two different outcomes


But again everybody is different
I myself don't really know -.- becuase I'm not married yet~ why are you asking me this question? anyhow, I guess I'll answer this for you Nick lol..I guess couple wanted to see if they still loved each other after they do stuff together ie. cooked meals together, cleaned the house/apt together and sleep together. In other words, they wanted to see what married life would be like without the commitment of marriage yah know what I mean?. If a couple can get along living together before marriage, they will be able to get along with each other after marriage.
I would say the evidence is BS. My wife and I lived together before we married and we will be having our 9th anniversary next month. I think people wanting to live together being engaged first is an important factor. This time is greta to know each more intimately find out how well you live together before tying the knot. Simply if you cannot handle living together how can you consider marrying them.
I don't believe living together makes a difference on whether the couple ends up getting divorced or not. You may as well be married if you live together, it's the same. But that doesn't mean you'll definitely end up getting divorced - there's just no logic there.
BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YEARS. MARRIED FOR 5. LIVED TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS BEFORE. I HAVE TO SAY, YOU FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THEM, THE GOOD AND THE BAD! BUT HEY, IF YOU HAVE A GOOD, SOLID RELATIONSHIP, IT WILL WORK OUT IN ANY SITUATION!
are you religiouse. if not (too much) live together with her see how it works out. Have lots and lots of sex and make sure she is the last one you ever wanna have sex with for the rest of your life
I lived with my husband before we were married... although I did say I wasn't movin in with him until we were engaged... I think a strong bond and special commitment is required to take such a challange as a roomie/spouse.
The only ';evidence'; is fundie evidence that they made up.
What evidence are you looking at? When you breakup that just means you learn more about the person and didn't like it.
It has been working for me...