Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Fiances sex expectation is 2 times a week first year of marriage?

We are getting married in august. Both virgins but have experimented. We were looking at a book that asked questions of how many times the other expects sex within the first year of marriage. She went with the answer 2 times a week. Is this something to be scared of because I would be happy with 2 times a day. I've only gone down on her 5 or 6 times. She is very hesitent. What should I do we've been dating for a year and a half?Fiances sex expectation is 2 times a week first year of marriage?
Honestly, she's probably a little worried about it. It's something you two should talk about openly. I'd be staright and honest since without honesty-- well-- what would you be doing getting married in the first place? If your not opposed to seeing a marriage counselor about it, then I would consider it. It teaches you all kinds of things about how to fight, and about sex.





It's completely natural to have sex a lot, all the time, 2-3 times a day, and usually after about a year or so that slows down a bit for most couples. Talk to her about it, she is probably a little worried she won't like it-- I know I was when I was getting married and even though you might not be a casanova yet, I'm sure the two of you will get a lot of practice in the future if you two stay strong and devoted.





Just talk. Honesty is the number one policy!Fiances sex expectation is 2 times a week first year of marriage?
I don't think it's practical to answer a question based on something you haven't done yet. That's setting expectations that one or both of you may not want to stick with.





I would suggest that you get some books on sex and read them together. It will help you learn and make both of you more comfortable. It might seem strange at first, but the more familiar you are, the better off you'll be.





I would also suggest that you don't set any expectations right now for what you'll feel like doing after you're married. She will probably become more comfortable with her own body (and with yours) and slowly become less hesitant. Just remind her that neither of you have done this before, you're both in it together, it's very special that you have saved yourselves for each other, and it will all work itself out without you have to make any decisions regarding your future sex life now. Good luck.
My fiance and I are both virgins too, and likewise, we are very excited about having sex when we are married.





It's very very common to have different expectations for sex. My friend told me in their pre-marital counseling she chose ';4x a week'; and he chose ';15x a week!'; but they've been happily married for 5 years.





It's a lot different for women. I'm very nervous about sex, because I'm afraid it will hurt, or that I won't like it as much as the world has made it out to be. If you sincerely love your fiancee, give her time to warm up to it. It's scary. Love her, comfort her, talk to her about it. Assure her that it's okay, you'll take it slow. Let go of expectations and tell her that. Don't expect it to be a certain way at first. Just love her and protect your marriage bed, and you'll be fine.
How do you know you would be happy with two times a day if you are a virgin? Look sex is awkward and strange at first and honestly the first few times are not very good. You have to work on it like a relationship. You have to be understanding of her feelings and respect what she wants. She may say two times a week but that can change, everything changes. Some weeks are busy, some are slow, it's ok. Don't put sex on a schedule, it become boring and feels more like work. When you finally are together, enjoy it, don't get all wrapped up in it now. Good luck and congrats on the upcoming wedding!
You need to wait. That's what you should do. But that doesn't mean you can't prepare. Take your time to learn all about gentle seduction and pleasuring women and by the time August rolls around, I'm sure you can convince her that you're worth more than 2 times per week. If you are both virgins, you have no idea how much sex each of you needs yet. So early guesses aren't written in stone.
dont make ';expectations'; for her because then she might feel like she is letting you down if you dont 2 times a day..i think 2 times a week is fine if that makes you two happy...people do it more than that


but dont make it so she HAS to do it every night when she doesnt want to...just do watever you can..its suppose to be fun and for the two of you..
You have to talk about these things once you get married. Realistically, there will be times she is in the mood and you aren't and, believe it or not, vice versa. There will be times you have to satisfy yourself and vice versa. No one is ever on the same page all of the time.





The key is communication.
wow, 2 times a week is some weak ****! you'll be so happy and in love you'll both want to do it 4-5 times a week. If you both work long hours, do it in the morning, girls like it better in the morning too (FYI). don't worry and don't count....you should never count, just make sure you both foucs on each other an equal amount of time.
You have to talk to her about being comfortable around you especially if your married. 2 times a week isnt much and i just read an article that said women wanted it like 4 or 5 times a week...she may change her mind after you 2 get married tho :-)
She's a virgin, so she's probably scared or nervous. I wouldn't be worried about her only wanting it twice a week until she knows what it's like. After a little while of it women usually want it 4-5 times a week. So no worries, just give her time. =]
2 times a week is probably more than most married couples but from experience sometimes it will be 2 times a month sometimes 5 times a day, just go with the flow and don't expect it just let it happen. Good luck
It's probably ignorance rather than reluctance. If you make it pleasurable for her, she'll want to do it more often.





The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHaye. Absolutely essential for a healthy honeymoon.





TX Mom
The whole point of enjoying sex is to not plan it out so much. How romantic... not. Stop dwelling on the 2 times a week thing, I'm sure that you guys will have it more often some weeks and less often other weeks. That's marriage. Enjoy!
I'm sure things will be different after you've consummated the marriage. There can't REALLY be an accurate expectation if it's never been done before. No worries. Just be patient. She'll soon lose the hesitance.





Congratulations on the wedding! :o)
2 times a week isn't that bad. At first, you'll want it a lot more, but after the newness wears off, that will be enough.
2 times a day...hahaha not happening. Maybe for the first week but after a year of living together some nights you just want to sleep.
I'm a virgin marrying a marine drill instructor-I guess he will have to teach me a few things-LOL. But really sex should be spontaneous.
Tell her you will trade that for blowjobs every night. Less hassle.
to me virgins getting married is a recipe for frustration... it MAY work out...





I'd say you two should try having all the ';anything but'; sex you possibly can...





you've only given her oral 5-6 times... and since your a virgin that's your total count... you do NOT know what you're doing...





but...





if you two could be open and trusting you can both teach each other how to please each other... it's a learning process... you'll both need to learn how to please each other.





at this point she really doesn't know what lovemaking is (technically I'm sure you both do but practically you haven't so you don't really know)...





so teach each other...





be open, trusting, willing, patient...





as you both learn how to please each other I'm sure BOTH of your expectations of frequency of marital intimacy will change.





if you LEARN how to please her (and it's your duty as her husband) she WILL want more of it... and she'll want to please you as well, and you'll teach her (unfortunately guys are basically pretty simple and women FAR more complex in what gets them off... so you've got to learn a lot more than she does)
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