How do you keep a marriage going?

I have been married for 11 years now, and at times it has been rough. I am committed to making it work, but I just want to know... how do you get through it when you feel totally sick of eachother and you just annoy eachother... like it was today.





Any advice on how to keep a marriage from becoming more like a state of constant hell...How do you keep a marriage going?
Get a boyfriend on the side. Works every time.How do you keep a marriage going?
All marriages wane and wax. Remember when you said ';For Better or For Worse';.





Well, this is the Worse part.





The good news is it fades with some fairly easy steps.





1. Feircely love: It's not hard to love someone when life is great, there is money in the bank, the kids are quiet, he's just got a promotion, and you've lost ten pounds. Love is easy when life is good.





But Fierce Love is when life stinks...and your love overcomes all obsticles. When he's out of a job, when there are bills piling up, when the kids are in trouble, when the house is a mess, when the in-laws are a pain, when you're exhausted, when you're fustraited and tired and he's drinking from the damn carton again and you just want to strangle him.....to walk across the room and give him a big hug and tell him how lucky you are is Fierce Love.





And the more you give it...the more you'll feel it. Love is like a big mud fight....you can't throw Love without getting it all over yourself too.





Learn to respond to your anger, your exasperation, and your depression with signs of love.





Ever notice how fiercely little children love their parents? They don't respond with sarcastic comments and storm out of the room. When they're upset (even with you) they lift their little arms up and invite you in for a hug. They put their heads down on your lap.





And that's how you should be.





2. Recognize your power: Men and women are not the same. In fact, in many ways, they are complete complimentary opposites.





Men tend to be dominant and aggressive in all things physical. Ever notice how men respond to difficult emotional situations?





They get dominant and physical.





Ever notice how women respond to difficult physical situations?





They respond emotionally. That's because women are dominant emotially in the relationship.





As the emotionally dominant one....how do you think the emotional state of the relationship is going to be if you decide to be angry, fustraited, or upset about something?





Naturally, the relationship will turn in a negative direction.





Unfortunately, men will try to turn it around with all sorts of physical solutions. And very rarely will they succeed.





Why?





Because your problem consists of an emotional situation, and you are the one best equipped to solve it.





If you're angry about him breaking a plate....will his solution of buying a new one get him off the hook? Well, it replaces the plate...but if you're still angry with him (maybe he was juggling them), the problem isn't solved.





It'll only be solved when YOU either a) decide this argument is worth bringing up and having a long discussion about (if it's important) or b) just dropping it and realizing that it's just not worth the anger.





And, of course, the marriage will only be as happy as you want it to be. You are the emotional leader of the house. If you aren't happy, he won't be happy, and the kids won't be happy. Everyone unhappy.





If you want to be happy, ACT HAPPY! The husband will mirror your happiness, reassuring and colsoling the children.





This is your power as a mother, a wife, and a woman.





3. Give to receive: You know what Prince Charming smelled like? He wore armor constantly. He probably smelled like an old penny most of the time.





However, he was brave and heroic and courageous and fearless because his damsel in distress always exclaimed ';My Hero!'; whenever he slayed a dragon.





Guess what...men aren't perfect. We know this. You know this. But most men WANT to be their wives' Prince Charming.





Now...how long will Prince Charming rescue some maiden if she constantly nags him about the smell of his armor?





Not very long. And who could blame him?





So if you want your husband to change for the better, you must reinforce him POSTIVELY.





Compliment him. Touch him. Feed him. Build him up. Encourage him. Celebrate with him. And when he's alone and sad....be a friend to him, his cheerleader, his admirer, his secret lover, and forgive him for his faults.





You'll soon have a man who will fall on his sword rather than disappoint you.





Good Luck!
Try instead of looking at the bad look for the good. Start doing special things for one another again only this time do not stop. Give him compliments and he should return the favor. I have been with my husband for 10 years and still love him to death. Yes it has its ups and downs but both of us learn how to forgive each other when there is bad days and we start all over from scratch.
1. Communication is KEY.





2. Laughter, jokes, smiles





3. The Golden Rule





4. Good homemade food, healthy food, junk food occasionally





5. Openness





6. Get-aways, vacations





7. Goals for the relationship





8. Make sweet gentle love, make passionate fury love





9. Compliments





10. Love
It takes two! Yes, it's cliche but, its true. Do your best and encourage your spouse to do the same, keep yourself up beat and positive. Give 110% of yourself in attention, affection, sex and love.
Gina is ABSOLUTELY right. Get a guy on the side. Best sex you'll ever have and your husband will walk around all day wondering why you look so relaxed ... and how you got a hicky there.
Have you tried counselling?
I'll wait for a while. And if he continues then bye bye.