Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Should I invest more time in my marriage?

I've been married 17 1/2 years. My husband cheated on me. He says it's over. It was her decision not his. That kills me. In all we've been together for 20 years. We have 3 children. He's said and done things I never would have imagined. How can I face this situation? How can I decide if our relationship is worth investing more time?Should I invest more time in my marriage?
well married is support to be for life time.





but as a couple it need the effort to make thing work. It can never be done by a single party.





17 years together is lot of works and lot of memories. I best not all those memories are bad. But when you want to call it off, you should asked yourself, can you be able to forgive and forget what ever your partner have done that hurt you.





Before you hit to divorced chapter you two should go see counseling.Should I invest more time in my marriage?
I'm sorry but if he doesn't want to invest time and says it's over, then there's nothing you can do. Both people need to want to work on their marriage, you can't do it alone. It sounds like he's made his decision so I would say keep your dignity and self respect and leave. Life does go on even after such a long time, you'll be fine. It may seem like a mountain now but give it time.
Suzy I am really sorry about what you are going through with this cheating husband you have. It's not your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself at all. If he chose to cheat then he obviously has issues and has disrespected your union and your family.





I believe you can try some counseling at a church with a pastor, if he is reluctant and doesn't want to try at all then you should just maybe back off and start trying to move on. Realize that everything in life is temporary, everything changes. It's sad I know but nothing is the same forever. Things may seem horrible right now, but their is always light in the end of the tunnel.





I recommend you pray to Jesus Christ, your and my creator. He might be able to give you the strength or answer your doubts. Put your Husband in Gods hands. You only have control of what you do with YOUR life, ask God to help you and you will see he will.





Best of luck!!
Been there and done it. It's 5 years later and everytime I think of my now happy family, I'm so glad we were able to make it work. Keep in mind that you cannot do it alone. Don't expect that you'll probably ever forget, but if he's truly sorry, you have to try to forgive him on a daily basis. As long as the love is there, don't give up. You won't regret it. My husband also said and did so many things I never thought he would but our relationship now is stronger and better than I ever thought it could be. Not to say that it's going to be easy to get through this, but hard work does pay off. Good luck!
If he says it is over and he is not willing to work on your marriage please don't waste a precious moment of your life trying to hold on to something that is not worth taking a pee on (him for cheating). You deserve better!





Also think of your children. They are being affected by all of this. Good luck friend.
Counseling may help. But as I see it, if you're not BOTH willing to work on it to make it work, counseling would be a waste of time and money.





I hope you have some family and/or good friends who can stand by you and give you support while you're going through this.





Good luck!
It's not worth it if you need to ask about it.

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