What child-hood issue most affects you marriage?

I am interested in honest issues of childhood concerns that have come back to effect your love positively or negatively.What child-hood issue most affects you marriage?
My husband's parents' divorce after 26 years greatly affected us when we were engaged (that's when they got divorced) to the point he called it off. His mom's infidelity when he was a child also made him paranoid about me in the early stages of our relationship. Plus she was abusive so he has major issues with having kids.





My childhood was pretty standard, parents had a happy marriage, so I don't think I'm affected much.What child-hood issue most affects you marriage?
Probably the biggest thing from my childhood is the infidelity that my mother did. When the person that is supposed to teach you not to lie and cheat does that very thing it can be very difficult because the moral fight that goes on in your head. It tears at you as a child because as you grow up and have romantic relationships. It makes trust in the other person that much harder.





As a parent when you grow older you can either go two directions... choose the same path that parent did... or you go the complete opposite direction and do not condone that type of behavior at all.
I was lonely in my childhood, or at east I remember feeling very lonely cause my parents couldn't find as much time for me as I would like. My mom was still in school, and my dad wasn't ready to be a parent I guess. It all worked out eventually and we have a happy family, but I easily feel left out or alone. Naturally, I chose a husband who'd always leave me alone cause he's too busy.


My parents were big champions of saving the marriage cause they eventually worked their hings out. It kept me in a bad marriage for way longer than necessary.


Well we are divorced now.


However, there are good examples too. My family sees it inappropriate to hit each other or use swear words inside the house under any circumstances. It set some standards for me. I walk away from abusive situations while many other women tend to get stuck in them.
The fact that my father abandoned my mother and us kids just after I started high school has made it very difficult for me to put complete financial trust in my husband. Although I don't show it (other than handling all the bills simply because he's not very good at record keeping), the prospect of him making more money than me is actually uncomfortable. Silly I know and I know it's only right for the husband to take most of the financial responsibility but I need the security of having my own income (to contribue to the both of us of course). Compared to other issues with other not so fortunate individuals, I'd say this is a pretty minor thing, but I do want to be able to trust in his financial capability completely. He's moving up in his firm very quickly and will definitely be making much more money than I soon. I need to get over this and be happy. It really is a good thing. Other than that, I trust him COMPLETELY. Even with my life.
My mother's infidelity, mental illness, and abuse towards me affected my life greatly. It took a very long time for me to fully trust my husband and I have a lot of social issues. He deals with a lot of my baggage, but he's so fantastic about it and never pushes me further than I'm comfortable going in any situation.
My mother was a very affectionate woman, and I remember she instilling that in her daughters,. I tried that in my marriage but he wouldn't except it..He just wasn't a lovable person...I think this affected my marriage, I stayed lonely and therefore angry. In hindsight, I knew he wasn't the man I was supposed to be with, but I had sons by him and I was willing to except the way he treated me...after all, I married at 15, I was young and stupid...
My husband had a verbally abusive childhood, sometimes physical abuse by a stepfather. He often still gets depressed and isn't sure how to handle his emotions. It sucks because there's nothing i can do except listen.





My childhood was ruined by a drunk mother who still continues to drink to this day. I'm always having to re-live those days when she calls me up wasted. We try not to let it bother us but the best we can do is have long in depth conversations about it all.





Luckily we have each other.
My dad was a cross country driver and when my husband and i got married, he wanted to do it too, i said no way no how, we split up and then i went and got my cdl and then we got back together. I felt that i was being abandoned when we were first married, like he won't be there for me like my dad wasn't. Now though, i want him to go back OTR because he can make good money and help get us out of debt. I know it won't be forever.
I was abused badly physically and mentally by both my parents...oh yeah my ';real'; dad gave me up to my adoptive father who in turn beat me and treated me horrible...my mother was a shrew and both of them drank....So my biggest problem is I think he is always going to leave (thanks dad #1)...or hit me (thanks dad #2) or mentally treat me badly(thanks mom)......My husband is wonderful about accepting all this....counseling helped....
we were always really poor and the food was always going bad so I have a hard time eating left overs or when the milk gets to the bottom I will just toss it out. I always go to the extreme to make sure food is fresh in my house for my own kids.
Positive:


1. seeing my parents not divorce


2. NEVER seeing any booze in our house


3. Live a simple life


Negative:


1. Seeing my parents struggle financially, seems like I struggle the same way they did.


2. parents not making me do good in school
My father was wierd about money (overcautious) and as a reaction I tend to be too free with it and don't like keeping track of it, and that has been a problem from time to time.
I was sexually abused as a child and have very low self esteem. It is something I have always carried in my marriage of 20 years.
I am not married yet, but my parents got divorced when I was four. I can't wait to get married, but I can't shake being terrified of ending up like them and/or putting kids through that situation.