What is it that makes marriage hard work?

I always hear people say that its hard work. What is so hard about it? Don't give me vague answers like ';working on it'; - I want clear and concise answers please. Thank you.What is it that makes marriage hard work?
Two different people trying to work towards one goal, and having very different opinions, needs and tastes. It's the recipe for disaster without love. And even with love, we tend to get tired and behave unacceptably to the one we love the most. Being ';short'; with tempers, aggravated when she doesn't have dinner ready when he gets home, leaving his socks on the middle of the bathroom floor, not making up the bed when he's the last one up in the morning, putting a scratch on his precious car, forgetting to take out the trash, etc. Things just build up over time, and someone gets angry over some little something and BAM, it's blow up time. And we are never really taught how to ';fight fairly.'; We're conditioned to win battles and prove our point. We say hurtful things to each other, and it takes time to get over it.





We can't do what we want, when we want anymore. We have to consider our spouse in all decisions. And that can be a big pain at times.





Need more?





However, it is worth the effort if both parties are committed to making it work. It's the best relationship in the world, and is the most effective way to make us grow up and stop being selfish people.


EDIT: And Dee (below) summed it up quite well..........What is it that makes marriage hard work?
Being with some one under one roof is very hard because we are all different with different lifestyles, habits, needs and values. You must compromise to find common ground. Leave your ego outside. You don't always have to be right even when you are. Make him (or her) fel valued and validated every day by doing little things and giving compliments, a soft touch here and there. This is all hard work but it gets easier and you will get it back if the chemistry is working. Good Luck 60% of marriages fail.
Marriage is a relationship you own in partnership with someone else. Compromise (not meeting halfway but each going 3/4 of the way) is par for the course, and of course there is also the period of adjustment to the reality of the other person. People fall in love with dreams of who the other is, and the reality may require some adjustment.





There are also control issues, even if neither partner thinks of oneself as a controlling person. Someone has to occupy each open role, and there are roles that both will want and roles that neither will want.
You will spend every moment for the rest of your life committed to someone. You won't like everything they do, you won't like everything they say, you won't even like everything they wear. They will annoy you, their jokes might not be funny at times. The hard work is looking past all of that in the best times and the worst times. When you just got a bonus at work and when his dad just died. Knowing that the person you are spending the rest of your life with will give their all to be with you no matter what b/c you're going to do the same to be with them. To make sacrifices and choices to make them happy knowing that they in return will do the same thing for you. And overlooking it if this time they don't.
I'd say its hard because you have to have good communication between each other, respect for each other. If in order for it to ';work'; you have to keep treating that person the way you would want to be treated and do whatever it is that makes them happy and visa versa. If you want that person to be happy and stay happy then you have to do things that will make them happy. I hope this makes sense and that I helped answer your question.
I feel that people use the phrase ';hard work'; when referring to marriage simply because for most couples they just don't want to change. Being married you should compromise, trust, respect, %26amp; most importantly love one another.





I've been married for 6 months this month and dont feel its hard work. My husband and I compromise %26amp; are willing to even change to be happier. I see ppl all the time that never try %26amp; change so their days end in arguments for not changing. (I hope I'm making sense its a lot harder typing.) I'm not saying you should change who you are COMPROMISE is the perfect word to use. For example as a young couple (myself 23 %26amp; my husband 25) I LOVE to club %26amp; dance while on the other hand my husband LOVES to stay home lol. So we meet in the middle we go out @ least once or twice every 2 month. Its enough for me %26amp; perfect for him.
Want specifics? We had an 8 month engagement, prior to our huge wedding. During that 8 month period, my (then) fiance had a cancer scare, all 3 of our kids gave us hell over the marriage and his daughter threw several major tantrums and moved out. She then threatened to boycott the wedding altogether (she was our matron of honour) and I had to find someone else ready to step in if she didn't turn up. Since we've been married, we've both had major health problems, our builder took 12 months to put the extension on our house and all 3 of our kids treat us like dirt, because we are very happy and have a very strong marriage and they've realised that nothing they can do or say will break us up. Our ex's have both been making things very difficult for us, as well. We have hundreds of problems to deal with, including relationships, health and financial problems. Specific enough for you? There's nothing harder than holding a marriage together, day in, day out, through the good days and the bad, but there's also nothing more rewarding, wonderful, glorious or satisfying, than being married to the man or woman whom you couldn't imagine living without. There's a song that is played at the end of the movie Shall We Dance, with Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon, which is, I think, called The Book of Love. Please listen to it and you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.
In my opinon marrige means trust. You have to work hard at keeping that persons trust or the trust (marrige) is effected. Once that happens it can go both ways. You have to constantly work with the other person so you both stay happy and don't just live boring. Marrige can be difficult. Before you get married, you should discuss it deeply with the person, and maybe move in with them to see if you can live with each other.
When you're single, you make every decision for yourself. What you eat, where you go, when you go to bed, when you spend the whole day watching TV.





When you're married, you have to make decisions with someone else. So it's always compromise. If you love that person, it's fine. But it is more dificlut to do everything as half of a team than to do whatever you want.
is making 2 pple that could be totally different, try to live like if they r only 1!!





is not always the man, or the women is making them to think like one... thats why when looking for a husband/bride try to look for somone that thinks like you, or does not likes to argue every point of view you speak
It can get difficult trying to make important decisions with another person because no two people are going to be exactly the same. You might have different opinions. Plus it's just hard to live with the same person day after day. But if you truly love each other you will always get through it.
God makes marriages work. The world and it's influences makes it hard work.
I think it is because we are both individuals with our own habits and opinions.
The woman.
The man
arguments