Why are my boyfriend and I still nervous around each other even though we are now talking marriage?

My boyfriend and I were once married to very controlling people and our marriages ended in divorce. Even though we feel we are right for each other and are now talking marriage ourselves, I notice that we still seem nervous around each other at times and find it difficult to totally let the ';walls'; down. I have to believe it is baggage from what we endured in our previous marriages. Any advice for overcoming this hurdle?Why are my boyfriend and I still nervous around each other even though we are now talking marriage?
get counseling together before getting married. if you really want this to work there are some things that have to be addressed together with a third party to help keep things going in a positive way.





Premarital counseling is very important for both of you right now if marriage is really where this is heading. A controlling relationship can cause a lot of damage in the long run and since you both came from that you'll need some help there.Why are my boyfriend and I still nervous around each other even though we are now talking marriage?
It's very possible you're both still holding onto all that old baggage. I would suggest getting some couple's counseling before you get married so that you can get all that other crap out of the way. This is very important, otherwise you're just setting yourself up for another failed marriage.
By nervous, what do you mean?


--skiddish when he raises a hand? (even though you know he wouldn't hit you?)


--conversation? (having to hold back what you say)


--fear of doing something wrong?





If any of these apply, I think you both together should go to a marriage councilor or psych, just so you can help each other break these walls down. If you don't feel 100 per cent secure (even though you love him and he you) I don't suggest that you take vows.


Another suggestion is that you don't have to get married.
maybe you both nervous around each other becuase BOTH try too hard to avoid conflict and confrontation in any way you both could (since divorced before)





If you both talk about marriage now.. don't worry about it... time will make this gap smaller and the walls will come down
If your not living together do it, before you get married. Neither one of you are comfortable about the word. If you don't have major problems within a year or 2, Then you'll be ready to say I do.
David Chapelle has your answer on youtube and here's the link





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZRflz-93鈥?/a>
If you two are still nervous and not able to be funny around each other than maybe you aren't the best for each other
Maybe you guys should re-consider getting married. You don't have to get married to have a commitment or to be happy.
live together longer but no children
Mom?
all that this means is u two still have the fire crackers going your love is true